Selfish parents

that sounds like exactly my parents…especially my mom, I am successful now with my career and all but looking through how we were treated and raised with selfishness is just depressing. I was struggling as I started working…getting settled and all, then my mom wanted me to get my masters degree asap and she insist that she’ll pay for it because my dad will get two separate retirements…so I enrolled myself…studied hard while working just to realized I will pay for everything. not to mention I was a scholar my whole life so where did all that money go?! All that talk about helping us settle our lives were lies. and I can’t just stop, now that I have started so I had a huge personal loan and two years later is still paying for it. I went broke one time and I need money to pay for my tuition so I borrowed from my mom and promised to pay her the next day. She said she don’t have money and wanted to appear poor but I can see she is hiring people to renovate and decorate our house!!! the next day, I saw pile of shopping boxes and bags in the living room. She’s decorating our fckin house!

now, they ‘disowned’ my sister who’s 28 and pregnant with a daughter from her fiance because the reason, she was unmarried and is a shame to our family. They are worried about what the neighbors will say. She went to see the baby but just to make sure it’s not an ugly baby. now, they never visit the baby. So, I juggle my time to take care of my sister since she needs to recover from a major surgery. The family members of her fiance has been a huge help, sometimes I can’t take watching how they love my sister more than our own mother…

We love her and wanted to love her more but she always makes it about her…now we all stay away from her…we seldom talk and when we do…she wants me to pay for the utility expenses at home or buy her groceries…not to mention her grocery store is earning well…from my dads money of course. grrr I can’t even get a box of coffee in that fckin store because the reason is…she’s afraid it will go bankrupt.

I felt bad about my dad for sticking with her and how they brain wash each other. they don’t have any friends.

Now I understand why my 12 aunts/uncles don’t speak with my mother.

her case is hopeless…poor dad, he has to wake up each day with that kind of woman. my dad never had the chance to manage his own retirement money. he can’t even watch a movie.

p.s. she hates me so much because me and my younger brother loves my sister and loving more our little angel..

I need feedback on this. I won’t go in to the whole story of my life and my selfish parents just the tip of the iceberg that happened on Thanksgiving. I am 41 and have 20 yo twin boys. One is in the Marines and won’t be home for Christmas. The other is a college student who lives close to home. I also have a 10 yo daughter. My sister has three children, 17, 6 and 5 and my brother has two children 12 and 8. My father decided that my boys were adults and he wasn’t buying them Christmas presents this year. He said the same thing last year and ended up buying them gifts. I said that if he was trying to save money he should cut back with everyone and do not buy anything for me or my husband and get something for the boys instead. He screamed at me and said I was his child and he could buy for me if he wants to, my boys were adults and don’t need presents.(Hello!! I don’t want or need his presents!)…This year my son that is in college would be the only one at my parents house that would not receive a gift while my dad bestows piles of junk that no one needs, on everyone else, just not my son because he is “too old”. This is not really about the presents, I have been asking my dad for years to stop buying so much. He spends a lot of money on things no one wants or needs and then complains about it. If it was about money(which it isn’t) why does he insist on buying for all of us adults and singling out my boys? I have told my parents that we will not be coming for Christmas, they always fight and ruin every holiday anyway. My family has had enough of all the yelling and fighting at their house. My sister doesn’t want to go to their house either, my dad yells at her children all the time when they are there. Are we being awful children? I just can’t take anymore of them. By the way there is sooo much more to the story.

I can SO relate to that! I’m a 40 year old woman with two sisters and we have a mother who constantly tries to pit us against each other. She seems intent on trying to make each of us jealous of the other two, by putting us down to our faces but bragging about how wonderful S. or R. is, but she does this to each of us (we have discovered this as adults by talking to each other and comparing stories of what she says). She will also tell outright lies to one of us, saying one of us said something about the other that isn’t true, to stir up anger and resentment, and it will take months for us to reconcile and explain the truth - I DID NOT say any such thing, honestly! She seems to enjoy being the center of attention in our family and feels threatened whenever the three of us (grown) kids are on friendly terms, visiting, talking on the phone, etc. She feels compelled to split us up - divide and conquer. She has done this since our early childhood. It is only recently that my sisters and I have begun to openly talk about her behavior and how we can still love her and include her minimally in the family but at the same time agree not to allow her to disrupt and destroy our own friendly sister relationships by believing her lies. She has always been a very selfish, narcissistic mother and our roles were reversed. We took care of her emotional needs, which was really weird and frustrating and exhausting. Now the three of us have virtually no genuine mother-daughter relationship with her but we are cordial at holidays and that’s it. There’s selfishness and then there’s our mother (spelled NARCISSIST). I mean WHOA! That is like major SELF-absorption that trumps all selfishness. She used to buy groceries for herself but not us, heat her own room, but turn off the heat in the rest of the house to save money (including the bedroom we kids shared) so we would be chilled to the bone in the winter, she sought basic medical care for herself because she had good health insurance for the whole family but she couldn’t be bothered to drive us to the doctor so we stayed sick and never went to the doctor or dentist. It amazes me, seriously. And if I were dying of cancer and needed 5 dollars for the last few cents of my co-payment for my chemotherapy, I swear she wouldn’t loan it to me. That’s just the way she is. I envy kids who have loving, affectionate, smiling parents who cuddle them and take care of them and show their love. I almost can’t stand to watch families like that because it makes me feel so much pain inside because I never had that as a child. My childhood was icy cold, unloving, and hopeless because of two extremely selfish parents. (Divorced, but that’s another story)…

I have selfish perants my parents didnt tell me I have asbergers syndrom I hade to find out myself because they didnt want to exept it themselved .and all the years I went through crying to my mom and asking what was wrong with me and never did tell me. my dad singles me and my sister apart because he dousnt understand my autism so he pushes me a side and because him and my sister have things in common like music and that.he spoils her at her birthday and then forets mine until 7 mounths later !

I hate my Dad!

My mother didn’t want me outright so she adopted me out. My adopted mother actually told my siblings and I the only reason she took us was so that she could control our lives …now none of us speak to her and all emanicpated ourselves as soon as we could

are you sure you and your siblings are not actually misbehaving? Have you spoken to your mummy and daddy addressing their attitude towards you and your siblings?

I live with my two brothers and we have disagreements / agruments all the time, but my parents would never comtemplate “egging” their kids to yell and hate each other :)

yes, I am 21 now and have been out of my mom’s place since I was 18. She still tried to rule my life and get me to “do things her way” .. My mom and dad have been divorced since I was 3… my dad had been saving money for me to go to college. When I was 17 she used all 12,000.00 to buy “ ME” a car, got mad a week later, kicked me out, and kept the car. So , now I am paying for my own college student loans (15,000.00) without any of the money my dad had put aside for me. I had to buy his car off of him for 2 grand. and NOW that I have had this piece of work car for 4 years now and the tranny is going to go any day now, I need to find a new one. She told me “IF ANYONE IS GETTING A NEW CAR OUT OF THIS ITS ME!, “ she told me I HAD TO GIVE HER the car I BOUGHT with MY MONEY from my dad, she was going to trade it in to get herself a new car and then I was giong to have to pay her a few grand for hers??excuse me? what?… no… but my mom has always been the money grubbin type of person… tries to act like she has no money, but really has a lot SAVED UP!. she is just a very mean rude individual who is always trying to yell about one thing or another no matter what. and whats sad is that I’m an only child who did the rite thing by staying in school and putting myself thru medical school. Yes I have a two year old daughter at the age of 21, but other than that… I do good for myself. and cant believe the way she talks / yells at me constantly (calls me a bi*ch, and all kinds of things)

Yeah my mom thinks of herself and only herself as sad as it is to say. Its true. I’m going thru more sht with her rite now too. I’m 21 and have not lived with her for almost over 2 years and she STILL tried her damnest to run / control my life?

She is just skandelous / mean / vindictive. I mean dont get me wrong I do love my mom, she has “helped” me a lot , but at the same exact time has used me as well. LIke last tax season ( I have been living with my daughter’s dad’s mom for the past 2 1/2 years.. ) weird situation, I know I know, seeing as how he has his own apartment with his girlfriend lol, but honestly his mom helps me more than anyone else would! but anyway… she CLAIMED MY DAUGHTER AND I on the taxes for that year, when it should have been the lady I live with claiming us. She got 2000 for just claiming MY DAUGHTER + only god knows how much for myself, think I seen a penny of it? Hel* no!!! ughh pisses me off, but w/e …