Rape victim, please help

July 15th I was raped by my 16 year old boyfriend. I was home alone, I had been really depressed that day, so he came over because he thought had killed myself. I wasn’t answering any of his calls and I fell asleep, thats why. I didn’t know he was coming over so I opened the door to him. He cried a lot and said he was so scared about me. I told him we should go outside in case my parents came home and thought something happened between us.

I don’t exactly remember what happened then, but I know somehow he got turned on and tried to put me in the mood. He made out with me and made me give him a blow job.

After that he took me behind our pool and pulled his pants down all the way. He told me to pleasure him. I gave him a hand job and a few other things like that. I don’t like giving him blow jobs, because he’s about 8 inches and its way too much for me.

Then he told me to sit on his face and he pulled my pants and panties down. I didn’t resist to anything, because he is about twice my size and really strong. He gave me a rim job, then got behind me. He then proceeded to anal rape me. I had never played with myself down there, and he didn’t use any kind of lubricant so it hurt a lot. I cried just from sheer pain.

It didn’t last very long because my father came home a few minutes later. He has no idea what happened to me though.

I told my mom only part of the story so she doesn’t know I was actually raped. I told one of my closest friends, but not my best friend. I also told my older sister last night. I didn’t report it to the police, because I had no evidence. I know its stupid, but I’m still with him.

He hasn’t tried anything since, and he said he’s really sorry for it.

Please help me. I don’t even know if what he did was technical rape. I’m only 15 and I have no idea what to do.