promises can be broken.

a lot hass happend since the last time I posted. My boyfriend adam. for two years. ended our relationship september 2. he called me the night before and asked if he could meet up with me, he drove to riverside. from seattle; washington. so yes. he drove a ways. and that said it all for me. For him to come to me in person to tell me. made the difference in the world. “yes I am heart broken” but for some reason.. theres thi part in me thats still holding on. But for now. im content. not perfect. not settled. but I can’t love him anyless than I do 4 months ago. thee only thing that hurts. is the way he feels for me. he says he loves me. But he slept with another girl. and that hurts. I am not ashamed to say I am still a virgin. because I am saving myself for the right one and knowing that what he’s done. makes me want to die. when I found out. I physically felt my heart just breaking into pieces. –and being an insane/ex girlfriend. I called him that night I found out. and all he said was “baby im sorry” I just sat there. thinking. how could he? why did he? … but I can honestly say. that as frustrated as I was. I don’t hate him. And I never will. I haven’t broken the promises I made to him. and I hope one day I get to tell him that. so the past 4 months have been a struggle. but recently; he called me for my b-day. and gosh my heart stopped. it was amazing to hear his voice.

—but my question is— what do I do? this boy has hurt me many times. in the past 2 years.(but doesn’t eveyone make mistakes)? and I can’t find a part of me to hate him. after everything he’s done –do I wait for him?? –do I date other guys?? –and one more thing. he’s moving to New Zealand for college. for 4 years. *he told my best friend. that he’s still in love with me. and that he needs to get away from home (Oregon-) but I just don’t understand WHY he won’t just talk to me. I would in a heartbeat take him back. I love him.

please help. I could really use some advice.. :] much love;

   kiana