Home More advice Parents & Family
You have many ways to do it it really all depends on you! 1. You can choose to understand that she is whom she is & will not change at this age, so accept her as she is or choose to ignore her. Your 26 years old, you dont need her approval on anything & are free to live your life as you please dear.
I have been and are sometimes in your shoes which is why I am saying this...I am almost 36 years old, I still have issues with my own mother that I am working on. From my experience, I have looked into that & found out that I have a lot of abandonment issues concerning her as a child. verbal abuse/physical/emotional abuse all in which came on her part towards me. I also found out while digging deeper that she too had issues with her mother too, it is like a chain reaction. I chose to confront her many times in the past but being as bullheaded & stubborn as an ox, she refused to even give it a second thought. I had only 2 options quit on her or make her see it through numerology & astrology, yes to some it is BS but really helped her identify where those issues were really holding us back the second I showed her that there will never be a relationship there unless she gave me room to breathe & I gave her room to breathe...so we have been making progress...i hope 7 pray you can find some common ground to work on as well. It may not last forever, but it is a start.
hope this helps.
didnt work on my mother, ignoring her just made things worse! My mother til this very day is very stubborn & cant seem to let herself believe me(since i am her little girl ,well in her eyes no matter how old I am or will ever be, I will always be her baby...the one she gave birth to, so how can I possibly know more?! Oh well, I just stopped trying, I started proving to her that no matter what she does, I will always be right, (which happens to be true & she hates being wrong! ) proved it 100x and lately after getting into the numerology & reading that about herself & e she learned a few things. Hoping it will at least for a while, i like the quiet! :P
that is so true as well...sometimes we are so caught up we tend to get lost in our thoughts to stop for a sec & really allow the other person to get their thoughts in as well. In my case, it was the opposite, she wont stop talking long enough for me to get a sentence in...I literally have to say: "mom, are you done..?" Then try to get a sentence out before she goes on & on again & I have to remind her that I respected her enough to listen now it was my turn. But her reply as always is, You dont let me finish...lol oh man. lmfao
The trick is for you to keep your peace when things get tough between you and her, regardless of what she is doing or saying. Pay attention to what sets you off, learn what your emotional triggers are. Over time, you'll become more able to hold back your unpeaceful reflexive reaction before it carries you away down a road you don't want to go.
Well, not knowing the details, I can't really give you a go plan, but I can tell you things that /don't/ help:
Yelling. Anger. Throwing things. Saying things you don't mean and will regret.
Well, generally they don't help. For some people, that's the only thing that will have any effect on them.
Stop arguing. Mother needs some feeling of being respected. Just step back a little bit just to see the problem from different point of few. I am not suggesting that you let you mother take control of your life, but giving her a chance to speak to you is the best way.
it happened to me when my mom was arranging my marriage with a man of her choice... OMG... and the man was my friend when we were kids. She gave up after I stopped arguing and stop listening at the same time. LOL
