What to do after cheating on my boyfriend?

Well I Love my Boyfriend with all my heart honestly but I Need Help. The other day I was having doubts and I was feeling so vulnerable about my ex and this other guy that I have been talking to over my Msn. So I went out with This Guy on my Msn and We went to his house watched a movie . but then his dad kicked us out.. we then went and parked in a parking lot. And I He ended up giving my shoulders a rub but then He got a little more seiruos he like jumped on my lap in between my legs in his car. and Tho I told him I couldnt Do anything He just kept kissing my neck and sutff like That Rubbing the crotch of my jeans. He put my Hand on his d*ck I took it off but he kept putting it back. I just gave in bc I didnt want to Make him madso I gave him a really crappy hand job. I want to tell my boyfriend. Bc we have been going out for 11 months. But I cant Bc I dont want to break his Heart. what should I do??? Please Help

xxx Dearly appreciated

Answer #1

If the guy forced himself on you and you didn’t want it then it is sexual assault/abuse.

Just because you gave him a handjob didn’t mean you wanted to. I definitely think this is the issue here. You should tell your boyfriend about it. I really don’t think you had those types of intentions with this guy. Just because a girl doesn’t flat out say no doesn’t mean she wants to engage in sexual acts. If you hide this from your boyfriend, I think it will cause a strain in the relationship. You need to be up front and honest with him.

If you need someone to talk to about being pushed into giving a handjob I highly recommend the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline. It’s like an instant messaging program with professionals talking to you. Completely confidential. https://online.rainn.org/index.aspx

Now if it’s the contrary and you’re just trying to hide the fact that you cheated on your boyfriend, then you should listen to what everyone is saying.

xox Sika

Answer #2

Oh and By the way… Im scared if I break up with him or he breaks up with me He will end up suicidal… He talks about it Sumtimez when hes really feeling low.. and He says everylittle Thing that happens pushed him closer to cutting off his life… And I dont want to be that Big push and regardless of what you think I love him and he is “the One” I know it Bc hes everything The First & last thing I think about… THe one I think about getting Old with… Trust me what happend with That guy wasnt my fault… He just Pushed himself on me… And Weather it happend with another guy I wasnt attractied to and I wsnt falling for this other Guy… It just happend It does sumthimz but I Still Cant tell my boyfriend about it… it would Break his heart… Causing Our relationship to end… Tho I know I deserve that Heart break… He doesnt and I Cant do that to the one I care about so much… It would Be impossible to Forgive myself..

Answer #3

I don’t think you should tell him. The act of confessing is to relieve YOUR guilt. not to help him in any way. Why would you want him to know how you behaved? All in the name of honestfy? In my mind its just taking the burden off your shoulders and putting them on his. People are allowed to have secrets.

Answer #4

I’m slightly concerned that some of the comments are going along the lines of,

‘Well, when I saw she was wearing really revealing clothes I just assumed she was asking for it, your Honour!

Regardless of the situation this person was in, she should not have felt forced to perform a sexual act for fear of ‘making him angry’.

Just my opinion.

Answer #5

I agreed to watch a Movie with him As Friends… I talked with him on Msn Bc he was my friends Old Boyfriend. And We became freidns and We have hung out in a group Before Just neevr together I wanted to get to know him better. .. As a FRIEND!

Answer #6

Well, you definately shouldn’t have done that, lol! I think you should tell your boyfriend and stop all communication with the guy from MSN! He will probably need some space or time, but hopefully that’s all and he will still be with you! Good luck!

Answer #7

are you that same girl from yahoo answers who cheated and dumped her boyfriend by giving a handjob to a guy with a bigger c0ck then flirted with a responder who said he was hung well too?


Answer #8

‘ you dont want to make HIM mad ‘

what about your boyfriend???

I guess you want to break HIS heart.

putting someone else before your boyfriend is shady..clearly you’re not ready for relationships. especially if you can’t talk to your boyfriend about being doubtful in the first place.

Answer #9

you definitely shouldn’t have done that I agree, but if you would just tell him the truth then he should forgive you (if he loves you to) or you could just not tell him and live out your relationship for a long time in silence.

Answer #10

Learn from your mistakes and move on thats the only thing you can reallly do. Don’t hide it from your boyfriend becuase you’ll just hurt him more. Next time just think about the consquences before doing shady things

Answer #11

Just tell him the honest truth about what happened and apologize sincerely. Honesty is always the right thing to do. Good luck. :)

Answer #12

Trust me what happend with That guy wasnt my fault… He just Pushed himself on me…

YOU talked to him on MSN YOU agreed to go out with him YOU are responsible

Answer #13

You really do need to take responsibility for your own actions. You put yourself in that situation. You cant blame anyone but yourself. You basically lead this guy on whether you want to believe that or not. He obviously knew he could do what he did to you, because he got away with it. You need to get a backbone, and start learning how to say NO! Its really irrational thinking to say, “I gave in bc I didnt want to make him mad”. Thats not saying much about the kind of person you are! Cowards lie, and puts all the blame the other person. Your boyfriend doesnt deserve you, but he does deserve to know what what kind of girlfriend hes dating!

Answer #14

Good SOLID relationships are built on TRUTH, LOVE, and LOYALTY.

I second that. And just like sjalldayy said… you obviously aren’t that interested in your current relationship if you found someone else more interesting and attractive enough to cheat.

To me it sounds like you were looking for a good time and this MSN guy had other plans. If he forced you into giving him a handjob, then it’s called sexual assault.

You need to think about your current relationship… why wasn’t it important enough to make you not go for this other guy? What is the one factor that you’re so unhappy with? You need to communicate that to your guy.

Hopefully he gives you another chance. Put yourself in his shoes.

Goodluck xox Sika

Answer #15

Trust me, I know exactly the kind of guilt that you are feeling, and how hard this is for you. People always say its hard for the person that got cheated on, but it’s also so hard for the person that does the cheating. You have so many emotions and you are confused about so many things - I can relate. What you need to realize, though, is that though you feel that you love your boyfriend, he obviously is not the “one” for you if you are letting yourself do things with another guy. And once you have come to that realization, the only fair thing to do is get out of the relationship - it’s not fair to either of you to stay in the relationship while you are having these feelings. Hope I was of some help. good luck girl

Answer #16

Cheating is a huge reason why relationships dont last.

I have more respect for someone who confesses their wrongs to their significant other, than someone who lies and covers up their mistakes.

If you care for that person- you can at least give them the respect and tell them to their face, rather than let them find out on their own, or better yet- never find out, and made out to be a fool.

If you can LIE and cover up cheating once, you will lie and cover up other situations and mishaps. Its a CONTINUOUS vicious CYCLE. Good SOLID relationships are built on TRUTH, LOVE, and LOYALTY.

one secret, only leads to another.

Answer #17

OMG, you should never do something to a guy because “you don’t want to make him mad”. Thats a big no no. Don’t ever let anyone make you do something you don’t want to do. But yes, you were very wrong. You have to tell your boyfriend and hope he will give you another chance. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t though. Would you forgive him if he had done that with another girl? Think about it.

Answer #18

stop cheating

Answer #19

Yeah, you need to confess… get dumped… and learn from it…

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