Ok this is important and long just please help if ya can

Ok here we go well I’ve like this fella fora very long time now since back in september and to meits love but in september we were going to go out but I was going away for a while so I said to wait then when I got back he was with someone else so I didnt do anything and about 2-3weeks ago I told him I love him to bits and he walked away and this was in a disco and I was drinkin and when I drink I get emonanal and I was cryin for most of the night then all my friends said to hit him and tbh I really didn’t want a but I did then after a while he pasted me and called me a fat btch):.. (il skip a bit) then I text him and said im so sorry and he told me to fcuk of and I txt him sayin sumfin with an x and he gose don’t send me an x I don’t want nufin ta do with ya every again and tbh the rest ant that important but its been so long and I dno what to do I cant stand that where not talkin and I miss him so much and dont no what to do even if he don’t evry wanta talk to me again I just wanta talk to him again 1 last time to expalain it all even if it dosent change anything but he wont give me a time or place help me and give me an idea this lad means the world to me I cant let him go so quick espailly if every thing reminds me of him an hes the 1 in my reams every night :( Help ME Please