I just got done writing this

It seems kind of clique. Try to reach deeper and write what really comes to you; don’t worry about the rhyming scheme, cause it seems like you’re too focused on that.

:] it’s not bad though, keep working on it!

^ hahaha oops, yes cliche’. Remind me not to talk on the phone and type at the same time, cause that never seems to work out :T.

blahblah, I think you mean cliche’, not clique, but I do agree, try more imagery, and try making the syllables match up for each rhyming line. The message is also almost TOO obvious. Some people write with that style, making the message up front and clear. But when you write, you need to write it like a poem, it needs to be deep, it has to mean something. Not saying that this song doesnt. This is constructive criticism, and I think you have a lot of potential, so keep writing, dont EVER stop, no matter what anyone tells u.