My story?

I wrote this when I was 9 or 10, now I’m13 how is it so far?any advice? I know it sux since I wrote when I was younger so yeah…I’m stuck with this story..

                                        When Love falls.

I waited for Armand, his full name was Armand Beau Pre, but he always told me to call him Armand. I waited, and waited .Night waited with me, My lovely Armand, I though “I would wait for you forever” I said to myself sweetly. .

I looked about, sitting hunched over on a gargoyle, my wings swishing back and forth as the gentle air wafted. As time passed I decided to tell the statues that surrounded the entire castle in which I dwelled, I started out with saying, I was an angel, who had fallen, I had fell from my solitude, down, down I went, Oh if only I had not tripped over my own hair I wouldn‘t have fallen, my poor wings were nothing compared to the mortal winds, I remember screaming out to Aeolus my friend, but I only heard my voice fade, as everything went to black. After my great fall, I was deeply injured, My blood soaked wings could not carry my weight, and my nude body was extremely fatigued, I remember feeling so alone, calling out to my friends, Athena, Apollo, and everyone else, but I never heard them call back for me. I had never felt so miserable, or so sad. I wanted to see my friends, I wanted to be with God, in shelter. I knew he wept for me, because every single lonely day, it rained God’s sympathetic tears. I recalled sleeping in dead flowers, and quietly whispering out my friends names, Barrattiel, Zachriel, and everyone else. Soon enough My body was weak, and fading away, soon I would melt away from existence, I was scared, I was marked as a fallen angel, and I hadn’t even received my qualified name yet. Time passed, as I laid weakly on the earth. Occasionally I would hear lovely animals make noises, Some animals would come and lay with me, and they would let me stroke them. But then, one lonely night, when I was close to death. I saw a immortal with black feathered wings unlike mine, His beautiful eyes noticed me, he looked quite confused, but either way he came towards me. It was already dark, and black ink seemed to ripple across the star filled sky. “You have wings” the immortal said quietly. Breathing hard, I nodded, my wings were drenched in dried blood, sticks were sticking out of my wings, the pain was agonizing. I could now tell this immortal was a “He”. He had the scent of blood wafting around him, his eyes glowed a sunlight color. “I am a nameless angel, and….I have..fallen from my Solitude” I said while eagerly trying to at least sit up, to show my honor for the immortal. “Can you take me back home” I asked, I was near tears, I wanted to go back home so badly. The immortal shook his head. “No, I cannot bring you back to your dwelling” he said with a thick accent. I started crying, I couldn’t control them, they just suddenly spilled, rapidly decorating my pale face. He held out his hand. “I cannot take you back to your original dwelling, but I can promise to take care of you, if you take my hand” he said tenderly. He held out his hand, they were pale like mine, without hesitation, I gently touched the palm of his hand, I carried his hand to my flesh and let him feel my heart beat. ‘Thank you” I said while smiling. He smiled a little, a brought his hand to my cheek, and kissed me. I did not recall ever being kissed, but when he did, I felt a wave of new warmth comfort me, as he carried me in his arms, through the rapid winds that ventured out of the black sky. His muscled body carried me through strong winds, but as I lay there, simply warm in his arms, I drifted to a peaceful slumber. I don’t recall the dream at all, but when I awoke I was dressed in a white cloth, that covered my nudity. My wings were bandaged, and fatigue left me obediently. I looked curiously at the fragments. Alone is a slightly dim room, I collected my extremely long hair into a bun.

Answer #1

hmm, interesting..

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