My life just sucks.

dude, I understand.

When I look back on the way I was raised and the means that the family was growing up with, the only way I can make sense of it is that is was like an aquarium someone was really excited about for like a couple months and then they just walked away from it.

Mom was a stoner. The only thing she was remotely interested in was rolling more joints and having more time to sit around and smoke them. She doesn’t even know who my father is.

The older sister was insane, and the younger sister and I grew up in fear for our lives. When we got old enough to have friends she started molesting them worse than she did us, and the people I went to school with blamed me for this. Last time I saw anyone from high school one of them tried to shoot me.

When I was 14 I took it upon myself to rip up the carpet in my room and lay laminate hardwood, and there was no help from anyone with this. It took almost a year for me to do, and I had to keep my bed in the dining room the entire time.

By the time I was 17 I had already been working for over two years to put food in the house. There was never very much money for food after the mother bought her two ounces of marijuana every month, and the portion sizes never increased with our age. I didn’t make it to a hundred pounds until I was 24.

There’s just a lot of us out here who probably never should’ve been born. That isn’t to say that we should just die now, but it’s the cold truth about the matter.

My mom got knocked up with me to keep her first husband when they weren’t even sleeping together, he left, and she lost all interest in taking care of the family that didn’t keep her man around. I’ve done more to take care of her than she’s ever done for any of us, and I keep doing it.

Being alive means you’re stuck with the responsibility to make it as good as possible, there’s no walking away from that. If you’re the strongest person around you then you’re going to have to do all of the hardest things. It isn’t going to be easy, it isn’t going to be fun, it’s going to suck, but no one is going to help you. You’ve got to do this all on you’re own, there is no choice.

Just remember that you’re not alone. And it’s a lot harder to not take care of any of this than it is to rise up and stand.

Dont worry about how you look, you cant fix that, if you sweat a lot use anti-antiperspirant deoderant, if theres a hole in your wall get a dark sheet or blanket and nail it on the top of the hole to get more privacy, dont worry about your abusive older brother, if he hates you ignore him and hes not good enough for you, your older brother has his problems let him worry not you, if you mom smokes let her, my mom does to and I just throw hers away when shes not looking, but the best thing to do is ignore it, if your life sucks think about what you want to do to earn success and think about that all the time 24/7 if you can and keep planning on how your going to get there, eventually you will get there and dont let anything stop you, the reason why people dont earn success is because their blinded by hard work, keep you eye on the ball and dont worry about other people’s problems, and if you have a problem just shrug it off and do what needs to be done, but if its nothing big then just ignore it, be your self

everyones life is different, and just because there are worse problems out there doesnt mean urs arent signifigant. you are signifigant, which means you are important, Whether or not you believe it, I can tell you that there are people out there who care about you. It could be the most randomest person too, but they can and will give you the light of day. you mean something to someone, and you might be everything to them. you love your mom, tell her you want to talk to her in an adult manner, saying you would really appreciate it if she would listen. Talk to your brothers and maybe try to tell them your situation and that they kind of dont help. Let them know you would appreciate their help. But if you honestly feel like you are in danger, and arent just being paranoid, please, just get help. There has to be someone out there you care about and trust, And if so, you need help. Something needs to be done. But dont take your life, it really isnt the answer no matter how strongly you believe it or not. good luck :)