What should I do about my backstabbing friend?

okay I just found out that my friends cousin is talking about me behind my back who is also my friend. She’s telling this girl Andrea that I’m four eyes and I need a hotcomb to straighten my hair. Well child boo she just mad that I don’t wear weave like she does and Andrea I don’t even know her so should I spread rumors about her fight her or just not be friends with her anymore?

Answer #1

Just calm down and take a few deep breaths. Your friend is probably just trying to get attention or get you back for something. Revenge isn’t the answer, so just try to let things be and live and let live. Rumors are nasty things, but they usually pass in a couple of weeks. Tell your friend how you feel, and tell her that it was really immature. Don’t cuss her out or turn it into an argument. Just calmly tell her she shouldn’t have done it and you don’t want to be friends with someone who gossips about you behind your back. If you need further advice, seek help from a school counselor or other adult.

Answer #2

Ok, I’ll give you the short, short version. I lost custody of my children 5 years ago because I was without a home, and my ex husband remarried.(he quit paying child support after he left and I and my three boys were evicted, so I gave them to him to live with temporarily, I thought.) Then he married my best friend, and moved in with her. (no, I’m not kidding). I was so distraught at what I thought was a barbaric court system that I got physically ill, and started using drugs. My ex and my ex friend went out of their way to make sure I hardly saw my kids, and then moved away…I had only 10 percent visitation, and the courts didn’t even know about my addiction. I just didn’t have a suitable home for them, and had to move in with a boyfriend ( who is now my husband and we are both clean). I’m not making any excuses, but I will say that even when I was using, I still tried to be a good mom, never, ever using around my kids, and only saw them when I was clean, or “clean enough”. I have now been clean for two and a half years, but during this time, my ex moved away purposely with my kids, and I almost never see them (scarcely twice a year for a few days at best.) What is really awful is that my ex has slapped a huge child support amount on me covering the last five years. Even though he never paid his in the past or any alimony to me. It is constantly going up. It is burying me and my new husband. Furthermore, I can’t even try to get ahead so I can build a home for my kids and share custody. But getting to the backstabber friend. I try to communicate with my kids on facebook, but all she does is rub in being their “mother”. She says things that I have always said to them just to hurt me and for me to see, and posts mushy pictures of my kids and her (even though she has kids of her own.) I don’t even want to go on their sites anymore, because of how hurtful she is. On Mother’s day, I went to church and just cried. And I know I shouldn’t have looked but I went on her sight and sure enough, she had written about all the wonderful ways my kids had treated her on Mother’s Day. She is by far the worst woman I’ve ever met, but has everyone eating out of her hand, including friends I had during my previous marriage ( they live where my ex and I used to live, and she has made friends with all my old friends…now they don’t talk to me). I can go to court, but so much time has passed, I’m afraid the courts will just see me as a dead beat, instead of a mother who really does love her children. But I am financially ruined along with my husband who is also now affected. And I have little rights to my children. And she just enjoys the fact that I have to send 150 dollars a month out of my unemployment, and continues to upstage me as a mother. I know this is a lot, but it’s not even the half of it. I feel like the devil lives with my children. And my ex husband is enjoying watching me drown, because I divorced him…which is why, initially, he went after my former best friend…I’m seriously hurting. My children are nearly grown, and she is always rubbing it in my face, bragging to people about “her” children, which are mine. I am not a bad mom. I made some bad choices though, but I have paid for them. She is horrible, and has gotten away with more crap than you could ever imagine. Please help!

Answer #3

OK…that’s all fine and dandy…but, not my approach. I would catch that person…they need to be placed in the corner with a dunce hat on. Best soluation? Tape a conversation with this backstabber…let her/him talk away…denying the very essense of what they really said. Let them talk away. Ask questions carefully without letting them know you are indeed setting them up for their greatest fall. Get all your other REAL friends to write what happened and email it to you. This is ammunition. When you have compiled your little file of deceipt…show your hand. OH…excluding their little taped intrapment. Save that baby. Then, when they deny…expose them in front of everyone. Show the world their true colors. Teach them a lesson…maybe you will make an honest person out of them…not that you care…right? It will show their own insecurities…and that YOU were being sabatoged. Get smart…don’t act out and cause others to believe them. Be savvy…cunning…and show them how stupid they really are. Your gain…their loss. Then, turn your back and move forward…find a real friend…and leave them in your dust.

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