My family hates my boyfriend

I have been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years now. Even Before I introduced him to my family they made negative comments about him because he is African American and dark skinned. They want me to marry a light skinned man who is not from Africa or who is not African American.They think African American men are worthless.

Although my boyfriend knew this he still insisted that he meet my family, to perhaps change their mind. He asked my grandmother( who I am currently living with) if he can come over and spend time with me. She allowed him to do this and my boyfriend came often. However, my family continued to make negative comments about him. My boyfriend also felt the tension. Situations grew worse when my boyfriend politely attempted to defend me. They used this as an excuse to ban him from coming inside my grandmothers home. The negative vibe they are giving him makes my boyfriend not want me to be around them. He talks about not bringing our future children around them. He feels bad that they no longer invite him to family get togethers. Even though he feels this way, he continues to try so hard to make them like him.
I love my boyfriend but I also love my family. I don’t want to choose between them. What should I do? They say you should never abandon your family but I feel my family is being unfair.

Answer #1

dont listen 2 your family, if you really love him you will choose him and forget what they say. if your family really luvs you, they would respect your desicion and not get onto you about it. im dating and african-american too but my family doesn’t care though. ex: when my dad was around 8 he invited his friend who was a girl over for dinner. after they ate and she went home, lets just say that his dad was very abusive. the only reason he was abused, is because the girl was black.

just dont listen 2 your family!!! I think I made my point lol

Answer #2

I think You should sacrfice your life for your family if they have helped you a lot in your life also if the gave you everything in your life like love/hapiness/suporrting you and a lot more if teh gave you everything and you onl have 2 do one sacrfice then you should leave him in the other way if your family is the oopiste thenn you should go with your boy friend and tell your parents not to be racist tats kinda sad im not black but I just say everyone has a human right if your boyfriend love su so muchhh and you do 2 and he has a good job like if he can take care of you go with him but if hes cheating and don’t have these thinks you shold think about yr childrenz the other way you need to know how your family is :P :) :D =) =D wish you gd luck xxx your answer will choose many people ‘s life yoour boyfriend and your family xxx good luck x

Answer #3

Hey,ya I got a simular situation too. I’m 22 years old and my parents are still extreamly manipulative. They hate my boyfriend and make fun of him, saying that he looks like a neanderthal and that our children would turn out ugly. I’ve dated him for 2 years, and they are still just as mean. We’re trying to talk marriage, but its getting harder now because I feel like I have to choose between them. My mother hit me in the face at 19 and left a mark and my boyfriend was there and because of it he thinks she’s an evil person and wants our children to NEVER be around them, not even for christmas or to visit. He says he won’t even go near my family. It makes me sick to think about this ugly situation. I want to be with him for the rest of my life, but I’m afraid this is going to cause me much more trouble in the future with my kids, don’t you think? I need some help…

Answer #4

hey same here I don’t know what 2 do but what im trying to do is set a time 4 him and my family. I only bring him to my house when its just me and my grandma she the onlii person that likes him. before he had to b polite to my family to win them over but my family is just straight grimy so now he avoids them. not the best solution but it works

Answer #5

hey looks like we got sumthin in commin my family is the same way but i havent even attempted to bring mine around them and they think the same, wut i got to say is keep ur man cause ur family arent think about wut u want its about wut they want i got disowned just cause i have blk friends and i like blk guys, fuk it ur family soudsn to me they dont respect u or ur choices and its already like there abanodoning u cause he is a part of u so in my opinion ur family will allways be there but ur boyfriend may not be if u let ur family come in between u dont leave him ignore wut they got to say and stat to defend ur self

Answer #6

Ok I go through the same thing, kind of. My family is racist too and would never let me date a black guy! I think my dad would disown me, no joke. But anyway I am dating a middle eastern guy. Whom I love very much just like you and your boyfriend love eachother. It was pretty much my mom who made all negative comments no one else. She would tell me that people are going to stare at me and wonder why I am with a midle eastern man. She would ask me why Im interested in middle eastern men., and she would tell me that middle eastern men beat their wives. Haha, the last comment she made, made me laugh because her husband who is white, was accused of beaitng his wives. And he was married 4 times… I was forbidden to see my boyfriend because my mom attempted to say he was too old, but the real reason was his race. I dealt with the pain of not seeing my boyfriend for 3 months!!! 3 months!!! I got very deoressed I lost 15 pounds, I would sleep late and mope around the house and wouldnt do anyhting. My family began to worry and I knew that my parents felt bad aat what they did. I recenlty got so depresse I almost had a nervous break down. So I went to the thrapist. Itold her my story and she was on my side!!! She said my parents were wrong! After that I pulled it together and I said Im not dealing with this bulls*it anymore!!! I told my self my parents should have the decency to respect the man that aI love and get to know him because I am their daugjhter and this guy means everything to me, and they take the time to see that!!! I stopped crying and got mad! I called my dad up and told him like it is and left him speechless!!! I told my aunt everything and left her crying because she felt so bad for me! I made it clear to my family that they can tell me alotta thongs, but not who to love! And that they sghould get used to him because their going to be seeing him a lot!!! So everyone was speechless at everything I said and now everyone is on my side!!! Im even taking my parents to the therapist to set them straight! Sorry this is so long lol but You need to say this to yourself,, I love this man, he loves me, no one can tell you who to love, and your family needs to learn to accept him, because you love him, and need to stopp being selfish!!! Stand up for yourslef, Tell them like it is! You have feelins that need to be acknowledged! Dont let them come in the way of you and yourbf. Just get them on your side, and the best way to do that is COMMUNICATION! Onece they see how serious you are, they wil respect you.

             Good luck
Answer #7

My boyfriend is puerto rican and I am white. My mom did not even like him before even meeting him. My mom would call and leave about 15 messages on my phone a day to tell me not to see him. She did this non stop for 10 months straight! She also did not like the fact that he had been divorced and has 2 kids. He is a good father and works 2 jobs. He treats me well and speaks highly of me to his family. His family is happy for him. I have recently told my mom that I broke up with him because I could not handle the stress. She also called some help line about 7 times to tell them about us. She kept saying the most nastiest things about him and even landed herself in the hospital because she was stressing herself out too. We are seeing each other still and love each other very much. I do not plan on telling my mom that I am seeing him!! We both have our own homes and do not plan on marrying any time soon. We enjoy our relationship just the way it is. NO family interference!!

Answer #8

o and btw, Im allowed to see my boyfriend again:)

Answer #9

Hey we also have something in common my parents are upset with me and him because we got an annulment because we got married too soon in our relationship. We’ve been together for over 2 and half years and we love each other deeply we have had some major struggles in our relationship who hasn’t so I can’t bring him around my family and I have to choose my man over him I love my family I can’t break up with him because they want me to.

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