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How can I talk to my boyfriend about being mean to his brother?

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for over a year. He’s absolutely perfect. Except for one thing. He’s really mean to his little brother. My boyfriend’s 17 and his brother is 14. Whenever I tell him to stop being mean to his brother we get in a huge fight. I think one reason he’s so mean to his brother is that his mom and dad are divorced and his little brother went on his mom’s side and my boyfriend’s on his dad’s side. It was a nasty splitup and I think there’s a lot of pressure. My boyfriend is so perfect and i love him so much, and I know he loves me. There’s just this one problem. It worries me to see this mean side of my loving sweet boyfriend and it makes me afraid that maybe one day ill be on the receiving side of this cruelness. I talk to him about it all the time but like I said it just ends up in a fight. He doesn’t treat anyone like this besides his brother and sometimes his mom and he swears he never will treat me or anyone like that….besides them. Because they “deserve i.t” Lately I just get really mad and we end up in huge fights over it. And we never ever fight. Is this something I should be worried about? Or is this a passing thing? I have 2 little sisters who are a lot younger then me so its different. Is this normal for brothers? The thing is that my boyfriends brother seem to treat my boyfriend nice. . I know he can be sneaky and “act” like the nice guy even when he isn’t …but still. Maybe this will pass with age? The divorce happened when my boyfriend’s brother was born…hasn’t a lot of time gone by already? I don’t know but i really need help. I’m afraid this will hurt our relationship. How should I act to my boyfriend about this? Thanks!!

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Answer #1

ok think of it this way……step out of the circle becos this is really between his family and him and nothing to do with you! He has his dad in his head, becos it was a nasty divorce your bf has had 14 years of his dad bagging out his mother, and his brother has had to hear bitching from his mother all his life about his dad, his parents did the absolute wrong thing in seperating him and his brother, they should have stayed together at either the mothers or fathers becos of their bickering they have caused a wedge between them without realising. What you need to be doing is making your bf and his brother realise they have nothing to do with their parents nastyness, they are brothers and what ever crap goes on between their parents has nothing to do with them and your bf being the oldest should be teaching his brother rather than being mean.

Answer #2

Wow that is hard, It is a little sibling rivalry though my moms family is pretty bad too they always seem to end up in court but they are a differnt story ha. Divorces are hard a lot of the times and effect a lot of people it depends on how long its been but it might just be a phase where they need to work it out. Your relationship sounds really good i doubt that he will be mean to you unless there is something that triggers it. Maybe the next time that they end up in a fight or being mean to eachother pull your boyfriend away nicely and suggest doing something else calmly to not make the situation worse. That way it can hopefully take his mind off of his brother whatever you choose to do and you wont fight or him and his brother wont argue. Hope it helps! If you need anything else just funmail me;)

Answer #3

I’m probably wasting my time by telling you this, but I’ll give it a shot anyway. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the saying, “If a man disrespects his own mother, he’ll definitely disrespect you”. I have found this to be true in many situations. It doesn’t seem to me that you’re the one who needs help though. I think the boyfriend needs help if it’s been numerous years and he’s still holding the grudge.

Answer #4

I hope Sue90 answeres this question too. Good Luck Gino

Answer #5

I hope Sue90 answeres this question too. Good Luck Gino

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