My boyfriend wants to finger me, what if it gets out of control?

Ok so I went to my boyfriend’s house yesterday and we mainly hung out in his room… It was a bit odd at first but then we both relaxed and I was snuggling with him and it was really nice and we were like that pretty much the whole time then he was like I have a creepy question for you.. I was like ask it.. Thinking how bad could it be? Well he asked me if he knew what fingering was and I said yea and then he asked me another quesiton.. Only more personal.. He said.. “ do you play with yourself?” I was like… I am not gonna answer that… Then I admitted it and said yea.. Then he asked “ do you want to?” I was like no… He kept asking why not why not? I said I just don’t want to.. Can we please quit talking about this? I feel like you are pressuring me into something you don’t want to do. He said no I am not and I said yes you r… Then we dropped it… What if he asks me again? He is only 14 years old and I am only fifteen for god’s sake… I would let him but what if things get out of hand? I am staying abstinent until marriage and that is final… I kinda want to let him but I do not want to take the risk of not being able to control myself. As well as him too… Cause him kissing me turns me on a lot… So what would letting him finger me do? I don’t know what to do!! He seems to love me and I said I did not want to and he did not get angry so I do not think he would break up with me or anything… I mean it is just fingering… But again I do not want things to get out of control…

Answer #1

I matters how long yall have ben going out because I let mine boyfriend and he has long fingers but it felt rrreeeaaalll real good

Answer #2

listen I lost my virginity at 18 and now I’m 19. I never thought that sex should only be for married people. my whole thinking was, “if I really like the guy and he really likes me back…if somewhere down the road I decided to have sex with him then so be it…even if we don’t end up together then I’ll know I did it because he was a good guy and I really liked him.. and so I dont regret it.” at 18 I found the perfect guy I am still with him now and I really don’t see us breaking up. sometimes though I wonder how it would be if I had done it with another guy before finding the one. on another note, a girl doesn’t really start enjoying sex until she is totally comfortable with the guy and with what she’s doing. it took me 3 months with my boyfriend before I had an orgasm.

Answer #3

tbh I think that you make your own decision… if you want to finger then finger!! the guy is getting pleasure out of pleasuring and pleasing you so how is that bad??? and as for being “too young” its complete SHIT! if you feel like you are ready then you are ready and you DO NOT have to explain that to ANYONE!! its your own business. Go have fun and enjoy your sex lives!! …but for god’s sake be safe!

Answer #4

So here’s the thing chicas. You’re all young. I’m glad you’re deciding to wait to have sex, whether it be until marriage or just for a while longer. Take it from a girl who knows, losing your virginity before you’re REALLY ready too, just cause you’re horny is just dumb. Sex doesn’t even get amazing until you’re completely comfortable within your own skin and with the person you’re with.

Anyway- yes, fingering can be great. But remember the guys you’re with are at their peak sexually and it will be hard for them to think of much else once you get a couple layers of clothing out of the way. It’s not their fault, it’s just the way guys are wired, however, this DOES NOT MEAN that he should be able to do whatever whenever just cause he’s horny. Sex is about giving pleasure to both of you and if you’re not into it, then DONT DO IT.

As far as letting things get out of control goes, I find that stepping back, catching my breath and giving myself a second to think about what’s going on is a good way of stopping myself from doing something I might regret. Know your personal boundries before you start..are you going to do anything to him? Will there be oral? Are you just sticking to hands? Make sure you know where you stand.

End rant.

Answer #5

I was thinking bout that 2…I mean my boyfriend watns to finger me also and I kinda want to also…but I kinda get outta controll…even if we are just makin out I get outta I need help

Answer #6

yea I was thinking about that.. like what if I let him but then everytime I see him he keeps wanting to… but if he does I am not gonna let him… I am only going to allow him when I am in the mood and if he really loves me he will understand.. I am also kinda afraid of getting caught…

Answer #7

So I am 16 and I just recently got fingered. We have been dating 4 months, and Now he does want to do it everytime I see him. He knows I dont want to, and he also knows I want to stay a virgin until marriage. But He says why not? I love him to death but he says he cant control himself around me, so I am thinking about ending it. The truth is Sex messes up relationships. Fingering is fine, dont let it get out of hand though and dont let him do it if you dont want to.

Answer #8

Decide what it is you want before your with him so it’s based on intelligence not an animal out of control. usually what I’ve done with men was because I wanted to but it quickly becaomes what they want to do and a feeling of there’s no turning back. This is a lie. You can turn back anytime, stop anytime. The guy isn’t going to die or get blue balls or suffer anything but his selfish not thinking/caring about you pride getting hurt. It’s about you, you have th cookies…you rule the cookie jar and you can close the jar anytime you chose to. Just slam that lid shut…I don’t feel like sharing anymore of my cookies…They are your cookies to meter out how you wish. Less is more

Answer #9

hi.. all these posts are starting to make me reaaally nervous… I turned 11 in december and my boyfriend ( he’s 18) didn’t just try to ummm finger me… he shoved his whole hand up my peepeee… I havennt sat down inn over 2 weeks and I don’t know what to tell my parenntss or teacherss. is what he did to me normal?! I meean he saays it felt good because its soo tight but it hurt so bad… I even screamed. please please please some advice hereee…

Answer #10

I lost my virginity when I was 14 to a man I was and still am deeply in love with … I was mature enough to make that decision at such a young age… If you truly love him and want him to and think your ready and both of you are ready to take that step than let him. It sounds like you are very insecure about it and him so I suggest you don’t

Answer #11

let him

Answer #12

I have decided.. I am gonna let him finger me.. I mean there is nothing wrong with that right? it is not like we are gonna wind up having sex or anything.. and besides that.. his family is like down the hall so I kinda think they might hear us having sex.. and I plan on staying abstinent.. OMG as horny as I get when he french kisses me.. I have to control myself

Answer #13

omg I went to his house sunday and I want to tell him that I wanted to but I just couldn’t get it out!! and besides that.. his mom made us keep the door open >.>

Answer #14

I have a 1st hand experience with that. I was at my [ex]boyfriends house and he slid his hand there and began, and at first it was ok, but he kept wanting to do it everytime I saw him, and eventually I felt uncomfy with it and he only really wanted to do that-like he was using me. So I broke up with him. –The whole point was when I got uncomfy, he didnt get it and kept want ing to do it. So, if you WANT him to do it, let him, but I am pretty sure you will be cautious. You probably wont get carried away, okay? But if you think he may turn to an addict or something lame like that, tell him to slow down. And try to hold back noises…I didnt make a sound, but it was hard.

Hope I helped. :)

billy_joe_95 aka Brenttany

any other advice, just ask me okay? =D

Answer #15

hahah about keeping the door open… you can still do it. my boyfriend does it when other people are even in the room but we normally have covers so use them:)

Answer #16

I had the same problem and I let him. It was funn and nothing to crazy. But now he wants me to give him a bj… And that is a type of sex… So I don’t want to because I am also only 14 and want to wait for marriage… But it is funn and feels amazin… But don’t let him pressure you … You will regret it later but if you want it go for it and don’t be to nervous he is doing all the work any way … LOL and don’t let it get uncomfortable … It should be funn for both of you! And ge’ez I no.. I get horny because kissin him and can some one help me with that bj question: he keeps pressuring me and I don’t no what to do … My e- mail is gabriella_cheer14@ THANKS!

Answer #17

wow who ever says sex ruins relationships is smoken crak!! me and my boyfriend have been together almost 2 years and we do everything!!! and we just fall more in love everyday he fingers me eats me out and has sex a lot but im 17 turnen 18 in a couple days and hes the same age but we are still in love ohhh sooo much!!! so stfu haha

Answer #18

me and my boyfriend have been dateing for 4 years and im 16 and hes 18. when I was 15 me and him were at this party and things got out of hand.we went to his house when his parents were out at dinner with there friends and I lost my virginity to him.he didnt pressure me to but I then realised the next day when I woke up in his arms naked.that day I new I made a mistake when I had sex with him because I wasnt ready.if hes prussuring you to let him finger you when you told him no you have to either sit him down and talk to him about it or just end and my boyfriend sat down and talked aout it and were still together now and im more comfortable when we have should try it

Answer #19

sex is a gift… not a toy or game like ya get for christmas… God gave it to us as a gift for married people. do not get too playful or it will get out of hand and you will be having sex. you need to keep it mellow or if it gets too fun or good you will misuse the gift… keep that in mind!

Answer #20

well all of you who say “he will want to do it everytime you see him” whats wrong with that? by him wanting to do that just just means he is thinkin about you and wants to please you.. what pleasure is he getting out of it? oh wow he gets to touch a vagina.. it is a turn on for guys which could lead to him wanting more (but you too) but it doesnt turn him on as much as you pleasing him..

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