My Boyfriend 56 is dating older women

First of all thanks, for being here. I need to talk with a mature person about this. I’m 51. I’ve been seeing a man off and on, for about 30 years. I don’t know where to begin. We dated for a short while in the 80’s. That ended because we were both young. He was having a great time and didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. Ok, I healed. I moved on. Eventually I married and was widowed. After about 3 years, I went to the wrong house to a party, and it was actually his home. I thought it must of been some sort of weird sign. I gave him my number, and he told me he was leaving town and moving to Florida. On a visit to Florida, we got together. and had a great time. Spent a lot of time on the beach and a very romantic time.

Only to find out when I returned home, he was seeing the woman he’d lived in Baltimore with, she was also visiting. I saw a picture of her and she was at least 20 years older than him. I was actually repulsed, but said nothing. He eventually moved back to town and then left and went to Portugal with her. They separated over there and he came back. Upon his return, I was in a long term committed relationship. So, I sent him on to live his life. Even though he wanted me to have an affair with him, I refused.

My relationship ended in January. In April, this guy contacted me again, he was not involved with anyone. I felt it was time to move on and begin to date other people so I saw him. I invited him to a party of a friend. We got there and he latched on to a 90 year old woman, and ignored me for most of the party. He explained he knew her. I again felt repulsed. I said nothing again. In fact I pretended the alcohol, had made me act stupid in questioning him about this. It didn’t though.

Now 4 months into the renewed relationship. I understand there is yet another older woman he has contact on a regular basis. I called him last week and asked if he was working, he said yes. Actually, he was driving this 75 year old woman to Washington DC. He showed me pictures of him, in a museum with her with butterflies laying on his head. He seemed quite happy. I’m so confused. I don’t understand this attraction to other women, who are 20 to 30 years older than him.

I’m very confused, full of anxiety and somewhat upset. This is such a turnoff for me. To think of him with other women, is bizarre enough but when they’re this old, I just feel so grossed out. Like I said, I’m 51. I’m no spring chicken my self. I just don’t understand what makes him attracted to these women. I know he has total contempt for his own mother. She died 2 years ago. I don’t know if this has anything to do with his behavior. I just know I’m confused and so uncomfortable with the subject matter and don’t know how to deal with it. I can’t get over this feeling that I’m being played, or these women are being played. I just can’t figure out what the truth is. Is this some kind of unresolved Oedipus Complex? I’m feeling very stongly that I shouldn’t see him any longer.