Mums or dads this Xmas?

Dear Blahjay,

It’s sad that the children are the ones who suffer at the hands of differences between their parents. It’s all to common these days, however this doesn’t mean the reprucussions are any easier to handle. My parents are divorced as well and I know what it’s like wanting to please both sides, not wanting to hurt the feelings of one over the other, and confrontations… My parents are separated by country which made holidays easier, but I was placed in a position where I had to choose to live with one parent over the other! How can a child be expected to make that decision is beyond me, especially when both parents are equally loved. You just have to go with your heart and know that your parents made the decision to break up and not get along and thus by doing so have to deal with the consequences as well. If that means they have to skip a Christmas so you can be with the other parent they have to accept it, and us children have to accept that we can not please both sides at the same time and do our best to let each parent understand that you love them both equally but your in a position where you have to make a difficult decision. Being adults your parents should understand this! I fought the guilt of leaving my mom to be with my dad for years until I finally came to this realization!

If your parents reside close together, celebrate Christmas earlier with one than the other and spend Christmas day with the other … there are many solutions, but choose one that feels good in your heart!

I wish you a Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with renewed hope and strength!

Alyssa