Mom & dad making me choose

Ok well my mom and dad pretty much hate each other. It sucks because im always in the middle. My mom is my world, shes had 3 different types of cancer and is still fighting. I’ve just began to repair my relationship with my dad. Well visitation never really follows courts guidlines. And when I asked to visit my dad who lives in tn and I live in pa my mom freaked out. Long story short I was told to pick one or the other. If I pick my mom then ill never really see my dad but id stay with my friends or my dad and I would still kinda see my mom but have to leave all my friends. I have no clue what to do. Im 15 I dont wanna hurt anyones feelings but im hurting myself emotionally. Advice pleaseee?

Answer #1

My parents hate eachother aswell. they split up about a year ago, and they trash talk eachother constantly. LIke you, I’m always stuck in the middle of it. I’ve found that sitting them down and talking about it like mature adults is the best way to go about it. You should never have to make a decision like that.

Answer #2

Id Go Live Wid Ya Dad If I Was You.Cus Atleast You Will See Both Parents.Even Though You Are Leaving Your Friends You Can Make New Ones And Visit The Old Ones When You See Your Mum

Answer #3

I think you should stay with your mom, I think she needs your support with her illness and it will be better for you to stick with your friends. However, if it’s practical to arrange it, go and visit your dad sometimes even though it is against your mom’s wishes. You’re nearly sixteen and you don’t have to obey her when she’s completely in the wrong. You have to firmly and patiently say that she has no right to prevent you seeing your dad, and that you can’t help but love them both no matter what bad things he’s done to her. She’ll see you’re right in the end.

Obviously it’s totally unfair that you’re parents are making you choose in this way, but I think you know this already.

Answer #4

In my humble opinion, it’s unfair to make you ‘pick’ when you could have access to both not just have one - that said, it appears at this time your Mom needs you more - she’s fighting - needs help / support - all of you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Answer #5

Parents should never make their child choose one or the other. Their anger should be towards each other and not be played through you. But as I understand that is not the case here. Why would your mom freak out? Are the plans for a short visit or a long one? Have you explained to your mom why you would want to go to you dad? Even if they are not together anymore you still have the right to a mom AND a dad. Repairing a relationship is a long term thing. We’re talking years. Funmail me if you feel the need :)

@johnathan; If you give advice in troubled situations please make it a better one than this heap of crap.

Answer #6

Go stay with your Dad and lose all your friends since your Mom is 10000000000 times better than anyone!

Answer #7

well.. you’ve got to weigh your options.. simply put, theres a few questions you have to ask yourself.. your mom has 3 diff kinds of cancer.. could you live with yourself if you weren’t able to make it back to her when she needs you?.. if you stay with her, is the option always there in the future to move in with your dad?.. and the final question being.. whichever decision you make, could you live with the outcome?.. friends shouldn’t really be an option though, because, you can always make more friends as well as keep in touch with the old ones via letters and visits.. who knows, maybe they can come stay with you when school has breaks.. you’ve really just got to look inside yourself and ask what the best choice is.. you already know the answer, you really don’t need someone to tell you what it is wink

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