How can I get my man to loosen up?

There are so many guys out there that are cool and affectionate and snuggly and into you that don’t find your love of physical closeness and playfulness annoying. Let me tell you firsthand, that being with a man who is not open and warm and affectionate, who makes you feel silly or stupid for wanting to kiss and hug and walk in the park openly trading cute little “I love you”‘s can really wreck your self esteem in ways you won’t even realize for a looooong time.

I seriously would ask you to rethink your interest in a person like this and realize that “life is too short” (I can’t believe I said that cliche–I hate it!) to mess around with people that you have to fight just to get affection from.

One time I had a boyfriend like that. He thought that because I enjoyed PDA, that it meant I had low self esteem and needed to “show the world” that somebody loved me. He actually convinced me that he was right! So for about 2 years I held back and was miserable deep down. Why? Because I “loved” him.

Then after we broke up and I dated another guy, we were walking in the park and I went to hug and kiss him when we stopped for a minute and I actually stopped, jerked myself away from him and apologized for trying to touch him! He looked at me like I was nuts! Then he grabbed me and kissed me and made out with me in the middle of the park. He said a really cool thing, too. He said that hugging and kissing and touching feels good. And for anyone to make you feel as if it is wrong or silly is just insecure within themselves and pushing it off on you. How right he was.

Now I look back and can’t believe I put up with the previous boyfriend’s silliness for ONE SECOND.

I am so much the kissy huggy I love you girl now that it’s sickening. After that, any man that I dated who acted uptight like that was quickly kicked to the curb. Now, I have a guy who loves every single particle of my open affections, and he returns them to me tenfold.

Do not try to force a relationship with someone you are not compatible with. “Love” has nothing to do with compatability. If this guy has any hope of every changing, it will be because he was rejected due to his lack of sensitivity and affection. Often, people have to experience a loss in order to see the error of their ways. People like that guy, with this kind of a problem do not bend because you asked them to.