What if I'm married but I think I'm in love with someone else?

I have been married for awhile with my now husband and we have two kids. We have been having troubles for a long time and he takes me for granted ALOT and he has alot of bad addictions. It’s always his way or the highway. I left last year for a week to give him time to realize if he wanted to be without us or not. When I came back he said that he would change his ways and two days later he was at it again. I have not about leaving him many times since but realized financially it would almost be impossible to take care of two kids.

I have been emotionally disconnected from him for a while but have never dreamed of cheating on him, and still havent.

Early this month a took a business trip and half way through the trip I started realizing more and more on how for granted I have been taking, and how miserable I am.

Over the years I have had many man approach me, and as soon as they do I put walls up bigger then the great wall of china. So I meet someone at this conference and we talked for a long long time just about anything and everying. Before I knew it I was head over heals with him, he noticed my ring and we talked about my family. The next day he asked me if I was happy and I started tearin up. He said I only wish you happens and dont want to complicate things for you. When you go home I hope you can work things out and be happy and I’m not saying this and hoping things work to my advantage. We just meet at the wrong time.

We both understood each other so perfect in so many levels. Now we have each gone our seprate ways (seprate countries) but I can’t stop thinking about him and I’m having such a difficult time coping. Never did I think this would happen to me, it’s not like there isn’t any guys where I live that haven’t tried to make me fall for them.

I’m having such a hard time getting him out of my head. Makes me wish that my life was different so I could be with him (which is not right). Is this what you call a mid life crisis? Although I dont think I’m that old.

Thanks for any advice you can give.