Marriage Problems

I am 51 years old and had a freindley realationship with an old boyfreind I was never going to leave my husband of 28 years off marriage he did think something was going on but never did any think to check me out I had a mobile he could of checked it as my daughter who is now 14 new I had one he said he was at work and never had time e had a day job and I went out on weekend and he never did any think he had an affairr his self to get back at me for three months he said I dont beleive him he new the girl who was 13 years younger than me when he picked her up in the taxie he was a taxie driver his self for 18 years which he left when I found out I allso never seen my mum was ill with alzikmers I found out about the affairr in june 2006 and told my mum she was heartbroken she new about my affairr she said it was wrong but my husband at the time did not know my mum said you are a good looking girl and will never be on your own dont you worrie I told my mum I only wanted dave my husband he never showed me any intrest like my old boyfreind he all ways picked on me about my body to put weight on which never happaned I always been slim dave said I did not marry you for your shape I now he loved me once all my ,married life I have trusted him we have been fairly happy untill this my mum died in january 2007 and it upset me very much I am still greaving I now my self I never get over my mum I am an only child have no friends no job at my mums home I came to when she died as our old home was rented I now my mumwas very upset for me I think she died of a broken heart the doctor said it was all the smokes she had every day to her brain I ll never understand why this happaned to my mother my husband said when we argue I owe him all the money from my mums home hard luck he said its the lawyou owe me all the years we have been married I argue every day with myhusband over this girl I can not get her him out my head he said its in my head and not hisi keep saying hell leave me for her he said he never liked her and will never go to her but he had sex with her to get back at mei have no bust and I think he used her for them only he said it was never that hes upset me at mums for two years he wont get revenge on her to let me get on with our lifes togetherwhen I now mention her name he gets violent and swears f words and a lot more he never used to swear at me all my married life and hits me sometimes and breaks my things and says if we part he will smash the house up hes changed from a nice man to an hardviolent man he sworeat lucy to oncehe says hes finished with me for good and when I told him when he left to go out I now you are going to her he do you think I really am and banged on the door hard lots of times and lefthe shows mesigns like he did before thats why I feel this way again he went in to a shop with her name on and brought something and watching filmsfidgerting whebn hes seen tv when we go in the car he touches his nose or arm and keeps twisting his ring on his finger ll the time in places only near her home again so I feel suspious again he never goes out or go to work or even go on internet only when I with him he goes round the shop for a paper there is a letter box there he said he has no mobile I think anyone could hide one in a home there is no trust with any thing I have been sleeping on the settee and he said he would if I did not go bed but he hides under the covers and totaly egnores me we only talk for two years no love or romance my daughter said I should leave him he does nothing for her this evening when he left he went round my sons who is 27 to worrie him we dont see him much he has his own life but not married and left home because of all these problem can somebody help me and advice me and be a friend with me if in the same boat I dont want to be alone as I only have my daughter my be some one has a daugher as well lucy is home educated and very happy and doing well.