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So I have a boyfriend... and his mom is completley living off the government. she has Welfare, Medicade, and disibility. She was sick for a little while, but she over came her sickness. And now she is completley fine. But she refuses to get a job or anything. I find it sickning.. She gets in arguements about other people having money and her having none. And spends her money from the government on cigerettes and things she doesnt need. When the money is specially given to her for certain personal items. She just doesnt care at all.. and it bothers me. I came from a family that didnt have anything, but we were never on welfare or anything. And we just worked and worked and finally we made it. Now we have money and can do things we like, not because we stole from the government, but because we worked hard for it... Main thing. I dont like my boyfriend (her son) living with her. He is 19 years old and we plan on staying together for as long as possible.. I just dont want him to grow up like his mother. If he does... I wont be able to stay with him. Id like him to find somewhere else for him to stay, but I dont know how to bring it up. I think he is old enough to live on his own, a lot of people do. Even a friends house is alright.. Or an apartment. Anywhere besides with his mom.. A little more information about his mom. She babysits her daughters child.. Matt. Matt is 9 years old and the mom gets in arguements with Matt about ridiculous things all the time.. I mean dropping the F bomb and calling him out on everything he does. I cant even take being around her.
Help?
Firstly, how old are you, 17? I don't think it's time to move in with a boyfreind just yet to be totally honest. The thing you could do though is remind your boyfreind about your strong feelings towards the situation. Tell him how you can't wait to be a full grown adult and earn a living and have a life together as working citizens. Try to convince him.
But at the end of the day- sometimes some people are past the point of no return. If you have been brought up to live this careless lifestlye it is hard to get out of it. If it's all you have ever known and then your girlfreind try's to to change the situation he may feel squashed or asif you are being pushy so like I say you hve to be subtle. If it comes to blows and he says he feels you are being pushy or whatever then I think an ultamatium is in order. This life or a life were YOU EARN your living. Tell him you want independence in later life and you need him to put in the same commitment or it isn't going to work.
All said, you are still young so if you like him and apart from this he is ok why not just stay with him, if your happy? it's up to you weather you leave or not but you need to make your point reconised.
If you don't enjoy being around her, don't be around her.
And this is as far as your involvement should go. Everything else you mentioned falls under 'mind your own business.' You're worrying a lot about things that have nothing to do with you, and why you think you know more about what is best for that family than those who are actually in it is baffling.
And please stop trumpeting your family's powerful work ethic as a shining beacon of what we can all aspire to as though it were something you personally were involved in. Your parents worked to get you where you are today, not you.
There are always gonna be lazy people you meet in life. Some people think things should be handed to them. If your boyfriend realizes that this is a problem, he will probably learn to do the total opposite because of her. No one wants to make the same mistakes their parents make. As for her eventually karma will catch up to her. There are people that actually really need that money and she is taking advantage of the situation. She better be careful though, because if they ever figured it out she would probably have to pay it back.
How his mother lives...isn't your business (and if it was me, I simply wouldn't allow myself to spend much brain energy thinking about it)...HOWEVER, how YOU live now...and how you may live in the future...IS your business. I'd be watching him very carefully, if I was planning a future with him...You can't change other people, but you sure don't have to join them...
Having a good work ethic is valuable...but hard to spread around...In other words, your ethics won't rub off on boyfriend unless HE wants them to.
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OK well I am dealing with the same thing okay. Have you spoken to your boyfriend about the hole thing and that you don't like whats going on? He should help you and you two move out together, I know that feeling and it sucks. Is he a mamas boy??
What a sensible young lady you are. Make sure your boyfriend gets a good dose of that self-sufficiency your family has. He will be able to take care of himself and live where he wants. I'm pulling for you! Joe
SHES USING THE TAX PAYERS MONEY? I dont find that under mind your own business
