Jealous Children

My Daughter is 5 , I have been with my partner for about 18 mths, they bicker constantly and this has caused problems, he is sticter than I am , which is something I am going to sort out, but my Daughter quite openly tells us tahat she doesnt like him, , I feel she is jealous and she has told me she thinks I love him more than her, which I hasve told her is not the case, she doesnt understand when he tells her not to do something which is actually for her benefit, I am going to make sure I spend more quality time with her on our own , and will be introducing some more discipline to the home, any suggestion or other peoples experiences on this sort of thing ?

Answer #1

Dear leighx, This is perfectly normal for your daughter to feel this way. There are a few things that are recommended with your situation. First of all he is not to discipline your daughter. This proves to be detrimental to their relationship. She is yours and not his no matter how much you would like this to be so. She should only be disciplined by you. He is bickering with her??? What is up with that? It takes two to argue and an adult should know better then to argue with a child? Of course she doesn’t understand your feelings toward this man she is 5. Adding more disciplines is not the answer as this is another change for her and she is reacting to the changes she already has. This is a lot for a child to take in. Never argue about her with your partner, and never argue in front of her. You do the discipling, and always do things as a family avoid leaving them alone together. These are some steps that have been proven to work in your situation and are worth a try. Sue…good luck

Answer #2

If the boyfriend is living in the household and helping support the family as a whole, then yes, he has a right to discipline the child. I’m not saying he has a right to strike the child in any way but he should have the right to give her a timeout or to tell her to stop doing things that are detrimental to her. By not doing that she will quickly learn that she can play one against the other. Trust me, it happened to me as an adult and as a child. I learned to play my step dad against my mom like a fiddle. And my children tried to pull it on my husband and myself but by that time I already knew the tricks,lol No, he should not touch the child in any form or shape as punishment. That is one thing I hold fast to. But there are other ways to discipline and make rules than that. And rules at 5 years of age are a great idea. If I had not given my children rules and guidelines growing up then the tragedy that we have all faced in the last four years would have been a lot worse. Kids today don’t have enough rules, but that is for a whole other topic,lol

Yes, there needs to be a stopping point with the discipline, but telling them that he should in no way discipline the child is just setting the whole family up for more grief later down the road. But, that just my opinion.

As for the jealousy thing, yeah, it’s perfectly normal. She is used to you being her mommy and only her’s. At that age they don’t like to share toys let alone their mommy. You both need to show her love and attention. Make sure to include her in on family things with your boyfriend. And for God’s sake, tell him to grow up and quit bickering with a 5 year old. He is the adult here, not her and he is only making it harder to get any semblance of respect from her.

Answer #3

I am gussing this guy is not your daughters biological father, which means that realistically, he has no right to disipline her unless she is damaging some thing that belongs to him orit is for her safety or if he is not ghome. I would askhim to not disipline her unless hese scenereios arise. this may help her view him more as a friend and less like a mean guy who always tells her what to do. she probably is jealous, but also fells that you are replacing him as her parent as opposed to yo you because he is usually the disiplinary force. DONT START TO ACT LIKE HIM THOUGH, OR YOU WILL MAKE HER HATE YOU TOO.

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