is this a good song so far?

ok so I started writting a song, its not much but its like this,

when im with you, you make me smile so big and bright like the stars at night.

when I gaze into your eyes, its like the butterflies released inside,

yeah thats it so far but I showed my dad it and hes all that so cheezy and like I thought I was doin good. does it sound cheezy? and if you think its good then please help me with it. thx.

Answer #1

well I wouldnt say cheezy but…ya its cheezy lol I would be more like misteriouse like

when im with you, you make me shine so big and bright just like the stars at night

when I sink into your eyes its like that cinderella fantasy. butterflys just sounds so old and un creative…no effence

Answer #2

I think it is good just try to put meaning to it and more feelings in to it good luck I hope to read it when your done writting it hope I helped!!!

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