is this a good poem.. what needs fixed..

The dark tragedy of being a pessimistic optimist and an all together bi-polar teenager…

Tears distort your hearts beauty as it distorts who you really are all at the same time leaving you blind to your own soul and blind to the truth that there is probably really nothing wrong and what is bothering you is your emotions treating you as if their the very people that taunt you inside the public education’s barb wired walls.
But I’m so true to my emotions that I will help them along in the taunting and cry when I laugh or cry just because I think it will make you love me more. Although it will make you snicker and think less of me because even I know it’s juvenile. Which I guess is why I’m even ashamed to cry in front the one person that doesn’t judge me over anything no matter how low it can be on this ignorant social outcast scale such as; how often I cry over dumb things, showers that occur about once every week, this damn depression that I don’t even know if its there or not, and the fact I can’t hold my temper when I don’t get my spoiled brat little way.
Could I be this way because that tyrant, known as my mother to the rest of the world, regrets the very existence of my being?... I bet it’s because I remind you of the infamous bill... the only sane one in my family my beloved father. 
Or could I be this way because of my “care” givers that made me into one screwed up child made me have a Buddha complex. Ignorant to the worlds woes and leaving me with preconceived notions that no matter what I do ill succeed at my dreams. Wow did that set me up with a world of disappointment.
What ever the reason being for my messed up head I know eventually they will commit suicide because each day I grow more and become much stronger than these abominations and they will end up just like Romeo and Juliet defeated by love. 

from this do I seem as though I am desterbed (spelling??) or messed up