Is it bad that I enjoy my eating disorder?

Yes, it is bad to have an eating disorder. Eating disorders are life threatening illnesses. Your body needs food. If it does not get it, you die. That’s what starvation is. It’s not a fun way to die either. People with eating disorders often get very sickly. Women lose their period and cannot have children. Their teeth and hair often fall out. They do damage to their esophagus when they vomit.

You should seek professional help immediately and hope that you have not done any permanent damage to your body. Talk to your doctor, a counselor, or a therapist while there’s still time.

Hopefully, you can get well and start eating normally very soon. When you do, do not be alarmed if you put on weight at first. When you starve yourself, your metabolism slows down. That means that when you do eat again, your body will store every little bit that it can as fat and try not to burn any of it off. That’s your body’s way of trying to save you; it holds onto every calorie for dear life since it does not know when you’re going to eat again. You should be eating and keeping down six small-ish meals a day totaling roughly 1700 calories. That way, your body is reassured that it is not starving. Your metabolism will speed up again, making your body burn calories quickly, so you can find a healthy weight for yourself.