How intrestested would you be in this story?

I awoke not remembering a thing of the previous week in a tiny dark wood cottage. I arose and began to walk towards the door; the floorboards creaking under my feet, but as I arose the pain hit me my back became sore and and my knees weak; I fell to the ground and passed out.      The I awoke now strong enough to stand. Approximately two days later and looked at my watch. The dial stopped spinning; I wound the watch to find it to spin in a completely erratic pattern, first it would spin for hours in a minute and turn and spin back to the other direction. I pushed myself off the ground finally strong enough to walk.     I walked all the way to the door and found it open with a loud creak but sure and easy. That’s when I saw it; this place was the strangest thing I had ever seen. Seeing a strange human approaching me quickly, I noticed it was a corpse not a living person. It hit me that I had a knife at my side I pulled it from its sheath and threw it. Hitting my target directly in its skull. The corpse fell to the ground dead. I moved over quickly and quietly to withdraw my knife. I examined it to realize it punctured the skull straight to the brain. Though I was weak I still had my skill.      I spotted a lake with a waterfall spilling into it. It was about a ten minute walk downhill. I began to walk and noticed a few very strange bushes bushes  with red leaves and white berries on them taking them and putting them in a pouch that hung by my belt. The rest of the walk was fairly uneventful.     

Rate it on a scale from one to ten of how interested you are in it. I will write a lot more into it if it gets a good interest rate

Answer #1

it sounds prety good! Write more :D

Answer #2

This is actually really i good i personally think. I absolutely love reading books, but sadly, hardly any catch my attention! For what i just read, i would rate it a 7 or an 8. Keep writting, you are very talented! :)

Answer #3

more! more! I wanna know what happens! lol

Answer #4

Thank you my love of books fuels my writing. When I was younger I thought this wouldn’t be so hard but it’s a lot harder than it seems.

Answer #5

It’s something to be proud of!

Answer #6

I will probally post more on my wall if you follow me or just visit my page.

Answer #7

i abalutly love it. i have written a book of my own but havent shown it to anyone. i just wrote it for fun. but i would love to here more of your story.

Answer #8

I awoke not remembering a thing of the previous week in a tiny dark wood cottage. I arose and began to walk towards the door; the floorboards creaking under my feet, but as I arose the pain hit me my back became sore and and my knees weak; I fell to the ground and passed out.      The I awoke now strong enough to stand. Approximately two days later and looked at my watch. The dial stopped spinning; I wound the watch to find it to spin in a completely erratic pattern, first it would spin for hours in a minute and turn and spin back to the other direction. I pushed myself off the ground finally strong enough to walk.     I walked all the way to the door and found it open with a loud creak but sure and easy. That’s when I saw it; this place was the strangest thing I had ever seen. Seeing a strange human approaching me quickly, I noticed it was a corpse not a living person. It hit me that I had a knife at my side I pulled it from its sheath and threw it. Hitting my target directly in its skull. The corpse fell to the ground dead. I moved over quickly and quietly to withdraw my knife. I examined it to realize it punctured the skull straight to the brain. Though I was weak I still had my skill.      I spotted a lake with a waterfall spilling into it. It was about a ten minute walk downhill. I began to walk and noticed a few very strange bushes bushes  with red leaves and white berries on them taking them and putting them in a pouch that hung by my belt. The rest of the walk was fairly uneventful.     When I arrived at the water fall I noticed another of those living corpses leaning on a wall, before it noticed me; I threw my knife hitting it in the chest pinning it to the wall. I picked up a fairly large rock and threw it smashing the corpses skull. Walking over to it I noticed a backpack.     I retrieved my knife and cut the lock straps off the backpack. When I opened it I first found a journal and several empty books. I moved these aside for the time being and continued looking; in all I found: one dozen Kunai knives (cold steal), a quill and two inkwells one empty, and a necklace made from gold in the shape of a thunderbolt. Obviously who ever did this their intent wasn’t robbery because gold is expensive.     I undressed and took a quick bath under the waterfall. When I went back to get dressed my clothes had changed into a toga, but my belt still laid there. That journal and those books were gone leaving the Kunai knives and my belt. I quickly dressed in the toga to find a sealed note stored on the front. I opened it and it read, “Dear traveler,   I figured this would fit more into this world at least until you get proper armor.

        Sincerely,                  A friend”      I put on my belt and got ready to move on. Then I noticed something I hadn’t before, the tower of castle in the distance. I began to make way to the tower. It was a completely uneventful walk over, but when I arrived I could clearly tell it was unoccupied and hadn’t been for a long time. I climbed to the top of the tower and saw what there was to see. It was a chance but I thought I saw a city far off in the distance.

          

Answer #9

Hey guys thanks for answering, but what should I name it?

Answer #10

Lol checking out your page. Canada.

Answer #11

you have a unique storyline here. i would be interested in reading more, but i do have a little constructive criticism for you and feel qualified to give it because I am a journalist myself in the process of writing my own books. elaborate. describe the scene around you in more detail so the reader can experience what the character sees/feels/knows. why was “this place the strangest you had ever seen?” what does it look like? terrain?horizon?sky?animal life? describe the corpse. is it mummified?fresh?skeletal?stage of decay? also, after each paragraph, play with your words. i would say…”i awoke in a tiny dark cottage in the woods,(on the floor?on a cot?in some strange bed?) not remembering a thing (from the previous week?of how i came to be here?of who i was?) etc.

Answer #12

don’t worry. if you truly bring your character to life he will name the book for you. he will be in your head. listen to him

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