How can I find my long-lost father?

I dont know if this will work but I was just wondering if anybody out ther might know my father I have never seen him and I know that I have little siblings out there that have the same father . Im turning 18 on august 12th and I want to try to find him . my question is should I bother looking for him if he isnt even looking for me? what should I do ?

Answer #1

hey im 12 and I have lost my father tuu and I have an older sibbling but she is 10 years older than you anyway I no how hard it is but I think you should go for it because if you do find him then and only then will you get the answers to the questions you have

Answer #2

http://ww.ussearch.com/consumer/index.jsp it might help u and i hope u finde uor father bye god bless u

Answer #3

I want to add something again here…

I grew up mostly with my dad, fantasizing about my mom. Everytime I saw her, every few years, it was all that I dreamed it could be. She was so pretty and nice and by golly, I can’t believe mean ole dad kept me from her! Then, like clockwork a day, a week, a month later after spending time with her, red flags about about her true nature. It took me until I was in my mid twenties to realize that mom was in fact faaaaarrrrr from being what I thought she was. There was a good reason she was kept from me. It took me years to get it through my head because I built it up to be so grand and so much more than it was–because I longed for a mommy so badly I didn’t want to see or believe the reasons she was away from me. Sure, she had that “Your dad wouldn’t let me see you” story. But in the end, the truth couldn’t be hidden anymore. She was away from me because she couldn’t or wouldn’t be a mom. Nothing really changed, ever. She didn’t magically become Super mom one day. Now I have no contact or relationship with her at all after years of trying to convince myself I could make her love me enough to be my mother.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be looking for your dad. I’m just saying not to expect too much of him and don’t be too surprised/hurt/disappointed if you learn the sad fact of life that most of us learn eventually: mom was right.

A real father, a real man, stops at NOTHING to father his child. Being “pushed away” has no bearing in a court of law. A real man takes his baby’s mother to court and fights for his right to his child and would never, ever let his child go fatherless because he was “pushed away”.

So keep that in mind. He has been guilty of avoiding his responsibility to you. Don’t expect Magic Superdad to come out of it. What you’re going to probably find is a broken, somewhat fallen version of what a man should be. No one who is that great, that stellar, responsible and upright would go for 18 YEARS without seeking out their child and being a father to them. A real man understands the importance of being a father once he makes a baby.

Just keep it in mind.

Answer #4

heyy, I’m thirteen, turninqq fourteen tomorrow. I know what your goinqq through. ugh, tomorrow is my birthday && all I want is to find my father. I pray over this EVERY niqght, that’s all I want, all I want is to find him. it hurts me thinkinqq && wonderinqq if he[‘s out there lookinqq for me… he left me when I was some months old. we still live in houston, but I don’t know were he’s at. I was physically abused by my step-father my mom met when I was two. she had three kids with him, && when he started beatinqq me, I hid it. but now he’s in jail. but the chioldren don’t know. I’ve been through so much without my father… I have longing for him && I miss him SOOO much. I cry, just wonderinqq were he’s at.. if he;s thinkinqqof me. I need him… I try lookinqq for him online, but I never get good seaerches. if ya’ll can help me find him here’s all I know: name: JESUS DE LA SANCHA. birth: January 02. 1974. last place I heard he was at: HOUSTON, TEXAS. well yea.. his birthday was some days ago.. I felt empty without him.. oh crap.. I don’t wanna cry… I’m going to just go. bye

Answer #5

I am trying to find my father who walked out o me wnen was bore- currently live jersey the channel liands and belive he left thee and went to work in the mainand as the look over hear had dried up. the lasi new he was working in a few of the folloing places and would ever so gtateful if someome could help. as I would love him to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day.

I apparently look like my father even don to the what he walks and so does my grandon. I have very big brown eyes and long blonde hear. I appreciate that you my nt wany to c me but my mum hsve never stop talkig sbout you or putting you domn. if you are the wrtie plerseon pleae comctact me just so that I can s what you look like many kind regards to all your family

lisa-maria and christopher -scott

this information below is al I have of hime

bitdat 1st March 1942

his name is Joao FERNANDO IN FEB 1968 JOAO FERNANDO WAS A WAITER AT THE IMPERIAL HOTEL.FUNCHOL MA DRRSA POTUGAL jOAO WENT TO REASTBOURNEON 28T SEPTEMBER TO IN THE QUEENS HOTEL, MARIA PARADRE.

Answer #6

Wow.. I’m so glad to know that there are people experiencing what I am. Not that I would wish not knowing a father on anyone, because I wouldn’t. Well, I never knew who my father was let alone having 3 step-siblings. Well, my step-brother’s girlfriend found me on myspace of all places! I grew up thinking he wanted nothing to do with me, because of course he would have looked for me right? Well, supposedly he tried with no luck. I guess I will never know really, but I guess I just have to take his word for it. After all he did tell his son about me. Well, I will never know the father he could have been, or what kind of man he really was; just the man he is today.

Well, if you want to find your father, try these popular websites along with other searches. www.myspace.com www.intelius.com (this you have to pay for, but comes up with fairly good leads)

I wish you luck in your search and like the others have said, keep your expectations low and your guard high.

Answer #7

I spent most of my childhood thinking that my sisters father was also my father until the day my real father came to visit. Im from St. Louis and hes from Virginia somewhere. Can you believe that he hadnt even come to town just to meet his first born daughter… NO, he came to help a friend with their child and I guess he figured, might as well visit my long lost daughter that I’ve never met while im and st. louis. I was 10. The meeting was odd. I didnt know how to be around him and I wasnt so quick to trust him. Actually I was very upset that it had taken him 10 years to want to meet me. The next time I saw him I was 12. He stopped by for a day or two. We wrote and spoke on the phone a few times but the absolute last time I’ve ever spoken with him was on my 15th birthday… Today is February 4th, 2010 and I will be 26 years old on april 25th… you do the math. I have no way of finding him or any idea where to even look if I wanted to find him. it hurts because I have a brother (which I’ve always wanted) and 2 more sisters. its crazy…

Answer #8

hi my name is jason im 23 and from a place called wychbold near droitwich wocester. I understand want your thinking about my dad left me when i was 3 and he was a women beater so you could say he was and his a FU*ER TWt but i had the chance to meet him when i was about 12 and the day was GREAT but then the day after he did not turn up i was left on my own for 3 long and upseting hours.So im trying to say your beter then him you should leave it and if he wast to be a men he will find you.But that is just my forts on your problems.You can write back if you went i talk to you wen you went to TAKE CARE FROM JASON. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON THE 12 MANDY

                                       HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON THE 12 MANDY
Answer #9

I am 34 years old and I cannot find my father. At 34 you would think that I could handle this fact, but I can’t. My mother is evil itself with money and her other children by the another man her only driving force. I doubt after all this time he wants to know me or he would have found me. I get upset, angry and feel lost all of the time. I hope you find what you are looking for, I really do. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone.

Answer #10

I just met my father about 3 weeks ago. For the first time and I’m 22. He is everything I thought he’d be.

I thought the same thing, that he didn’t want me and was never looking for me. But then I found out the circumstances. My mom pushed him away and he DID try to find me but was pushed away again.

Now I have this whole family that I never knew and they all welcomed me “home”

You won’t know if you don’t try.

Answer #11

Hi, I don’t know anything about my dad but I would love to find him. I am not expectin everything to be a big fairytale if I did but it means a lot to me just to know, and everytime I try to talk to my mum about it she just gets angry because she feels as if im trying o push her out. I havnt really got a name but I know tiny bits of information Family has given me. Does anybody know any way I can start looking for him because I really don’t know where to start!

Clo x

Answer #12

Hi my name is jason ny stupid dad left me when when i was 3 and he i next ment him wneh i was adout 12 the fist day whent GREAT but the next time i went to meet him the IDIOTdid not turn up and that was the last time i had any chance to meet him.My nan has said 1000 times men who can make us and then F*CK of do not deserve us so please belive me he dosert deserve you OK jason villafan83@aol.com

P.s please be happy and write back any time if had the same kind of problems 4 23 years so i understand HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON THE 12

Answer #13

hi..we have the same question in mind but I wanna share with you what I think..for ME–y bother because he never really looked for me so why should I spent time looking for him.BUT there is a time that I wanna know where he at or if still alive or if he has a new family.those are the question you can never ignore because it’s in your mind and no matter what you do it won’t go away.this is my opinion and it’s all up 2 you if you wanna find him but always prepare yourself for the outcome..it can be worse or it can be good.I know how you feel and it does HURT. goodluck!

Answer #14

hey im only 14 and i dont know my father either…i want to look for him but at the same time i dont…i want to get to kno him better but i dont bcuz ive lived 14 years without him so y bother…BUT ITS ALL UP TO U IF U REALLY DO WANT TO FIND HIM…i need help on how to find him but i dont want to tell my mom

Answer #15

3 months ago I found my father…I was so happy, I found all of my missing family. my father had been looking for me too. we now keep in touch.

Answer #16

You know the really funny thing. I just found my father about 6 months ago, his name is Dale Hawver, and if you are my sister we have a brother too. Send me an email…BBles2001@aol.com and we can talk more.

Answer #17

Chances are you’ll be gravely disappointed by what you find. He hasn’t been a father to you all your life, odds of him starting now are slim. If he looks for you, great. But I wouldn’t go seeking him out.

Answer #18

What do you do if your mother has told you multiiple stories as to why you don’t know your biological father, and one of the possibilities is that he doesn’t know you exist? Oh, and your mother withholds his name and has not bothered to keep any track of him for the future? Not even one photograph, after an eight year relationship.

Answer #19

heyy, I’m thirteen, turninqq fourteen tomorrow. I know what your goinqq through. ugh, tomorrow is my birthday && all I want is to find my father. I pray over this EVERY niqght, that’s all I want, all I want is to find him. it hurts me thinkinqq && wonderinqq if he[‘s out there lookinqq for me… he left me when I was some months old. we still live in houston, but I don’t know were he’s at. I was physically abused by my step-father my mom met when I was two. she had three kids with him, && when he started beatinqq me, I hid it. but now he’s in jail. but the chioldren don’t know. I’ve been through so much without my father… I have longing for him && I miss him SOOO much. I cry, just wonderinqq were he’s at.. if he;s thinkinqqof me. I need him… I try lookinqq for him online, but I never get good seaerches. if ya’ll can help me find him here’s all I know: name: JESUS DE LA SANCHA. birth: January 02. 1974. last place I heard he was at: HOUSTON, TEXAS. well yea.. his birthday was some days ago.. I felt empty without him.. oh crap.. I don’t wanna cry… I’m going to just go. bye

Answer #20

yes you should try looking for him because the same way you’re thinking he’s not looking for you you never know he might think of you everyday. so looking for him might be the only way you’ll find closure to the missing piece in your heart..

Answer #21

i would because im only 14 and i have seen my father but the last time i saw him i was 2 and dont remember anything so all i want to do is find him u dont need to get in touch with him just so u know where he is

Answer #22

Hi two weeks ago I was told my paternal grandmother has died and the time and day of the funeral. I hadnt seen my dad since I was 4 weeks old and hadnt had any contact with him since I was 10 (14 years ago!!) But I decided to go to the funeral and pay my respects after all this woman was my grandmother. After a lot of pointing and guessing who my father was, my fiance and I realised who it was. My fiance held my hand and called his name and I introduced myself to him and I can honestly say it was the best decision I’ve ever made. He was so happy to see me and he couldnt beleive it that I had come to the funeral. We arranged to meet last sunday just for an hour to try get 2 know each other and we sat and talked for 4 hours.

Over my 24 years of having unanswered questions, anger, depression (I’ve cut myself over it) I feel like a dead weight has been lifted from me.

My advice to you is go for it but also beware that this person may not want to accept you as his daughter. I have been lucky and I really hope you are too. xxx

Answer #23

I hate to say this. But if he doesn’t want to be found…he’s not going to be. I had the same situation about 6 months ago I did find my biological father, and I found out that I have a brother too!! Which is really cool. The only thing is…when I was looking for my father I wasn’t able to find out anything on him, but I did found out things on his family. The way that I found my family was a did a search for family members that might have been related to him. Aunts, uncles ext. I made about 12 dozen phone calls, and finally I ended up calling on of my uncles. He told me that he didn’t know where my dad was, or how is was doing. But he told me that I have a brother. He gave me the information that he had on him…but I ended up finding him through his myspace page. Which in the end he had all of the information on how to find my dad. So, it might take you awhile and you might have to make a million phone calls, but if you really want to find him…you will. It’s going to happen when you’re ready for it…and when it does happen try not to get your hopes up. My biological father is not the best, but at the sametime I have the best big brother you can have.
Now…I also have a sister out there that is younger then me. I don’t have a clue what her name is or birthday…but my Dad’s name is Dale Allen Hawver born 12-19-1961. My information sort of matches what you’re looking for. If you want email me at Bbles2001 at aol. And I’ll be happy to go over anything that you need. In the subject line write: MY FATHER. So that way I don’t accidently delete it.

Thank you, and I hope if you’re not my little sister that you find what you’re looking for.

More Like This

Parents & Family

Parenting, Marriage, Childcare

Ask an advisor one-on-one!

Tulsa Fathers Rights Lawyer

Family Law, Legal Services, Parental Rights

Interactive Counselling

Counselling Services, Therapy Services, Family Counseling

Premier Funerals

Funeral Services, Funeral Planning, Funeral Home

MySurrogateMom

Surrogacy Services, Parenting Support, Fertility Assistance

Big Apple Funeral Services

Funeral Services, Funeral Homes, Memorial Services