im 16,having a breakdown like my uncle help

im going to explode,this is not depression or me over reacting..and I know you cant give me proper help but the smallest things are making me go noodle,im having some intense thought’s,I have a big RAGE in my head my uncle has mental health.. and the doctors and social wworker and youth offen. are drumming into my head to go counselling when I no I dont need it..and I went the other day and it was a freekshow on display so dont tell me to go counselling,im having these ambitions to jump people at night im really annoyed and fear im gonna start mixing with the wrong crowd I have bipolar disorder but this breakdown is way more extreme when I get really annoyed I get headaches ands its not a good thing tonight I have been building rage becuase my so called wh*re of a best friend removed me off everything.. even though I deleted her anyway but still! and because my old crush’s friend told me maybe he dont want to know you..its all small things like this that are twisting me.. I gave head for the first time the other day I cried because I was forced and it reminded me of the past and stuff I cant tell anyone what am I going to do :/. I have this obsession as all my friends have their little nieces and nephews I have a niece to but im not aloud to take her out,so im tryna use my litttle cousin who lives down the road I want him because he is cute! but I cant! because my mum does not think the [ oww my heart is burning :/] mother [ my cousin ] is suitable but I can have the kid :D