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Should I try to make it work with the guy who left me pregnant?

SO I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 6 YEARS WITH MY HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEART. WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT YET ALWAYS HAD EACHOTHERS BACK. EVERYONE SAID WE WOULDN’T STAY TOGETHER…. YET WE LOVED TO PROVE EVERYONE WRONG. ABOUT 2YEARS AGO WE MOVED IN TOGETHER AND WANTED TO TRY FOR A BABY…. I NEVER GOT PREGNANT… AND IT WAS STRESSIN US OUT… PLUS I WAS KINDA GIVING HIM HINTS AS TO WHY WE AINT MARRIED YET. I STARTED HEARING HE HAD AN ENGAGEMENT RING FOR ME…BUT ONE DAY AFTER A STUPID ARGUMENT & HE SIMPLY RETURNED MY ENGAGEMENT RING AND STARTED GOIN OUT ALOT. I FINALLY MOVED OUT AND TOLD HIM I WASNT GONNA PUT UP WITH THAT BULL. COUPLE MONTHS LATER WE TRIED IT AGAIN… THIS TIME IN A DIFFERENT APARTMENT WITH A DIFFERENT SET OF MIND. WITHOUT EVEN TRYING ONE MORNING I DIDNT GET MY PERIOD AND I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT. I TOLD HIM ABOUT IT.. HE CRIED AND SAID HOW HAPPY HE WAS AND HOW ITS TIME TO GET MARRIED AND STRAIGHTN THINGS OUT. RIGHT THEN HE STARTED GOIN OUT ALOT AGAIN… & WHEN I WAS 3-MONTHS ONE NITE HE WENT OUT WITH HIS BOYS AND DIDNT COME HOME UNTIL THE NEXT MORNIN & WE GOT IN A BIG ARGUMENT. THE NEXT DAY I WENT TO WORK AND CAME HOME ONLY TO FIND HE HAD EMPTIED THE APARTMENT AND LEFT ME…. WITHOUT EVEN TELLIN ME ANYTHING.

EVEN AFTER THAT I MOVED BACK HOME TO MY MOTHERS & STILL TRIED KEEPIN US TOGETHER CAUSE THERE IS NOTHING I WANTED MORE THAN MY LIL HAPPY FAMILY. I BEGGED HIM TO STOP RUNNIN AROUND WITH OTHER CHICS AND TO THINK ABOUT OR FUTURE. HE WOULD TELL ME TO LEAVE HIM ALONE & THAT HE IS FALLING FOR SOMEONE NEW. HE TOLD ME TO MY FACE WHEN I WAS 7-MONTHS PREGNANT “ I DONT WANT YOU!!!! IM ALREADY TALKIN TO SOMEONE ELSE SO LEAVE ME ALONE” TO THE POINT.. THESE DAYS HE HAS A NEW GURLFRIEND AND DOES HIS THING. HE COMES TO VISIT THE BABY ONCE IN A WHILE & WANTS TO ALMOST BE FRIENDS WITH ME. BUT I REFUSE TO TALK TO HIM…. HE HURT ME TOO MUCH.IM NOT STOPIN HIM FROM SEEING HIS DAUGHTER I SIMPLY DONT WANT TO SEE HIM MYSLEF. MY FAMILY DEALS WITH HIM WHEN HE COMES TO VISIT THE BABY. NOW HE HAS TOLD ME HE IS PISSED THAT HE HAS TO GO THROUGH MY FAMILY AND THAT AS A MATTER FACT HE WANTS A PATERNITY TEST. (KEEP IN MIND IVE BEEN WITH HIM FOR 6-YEARS AND I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO HIM) ONLY BEEN WITH ONE OTHER GUY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE & THAT WAS 2-YEARS AGO.

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO. I WISH HE WOULD JUST APOLOGIZE FOR EVERYTHING AND BE THAT MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH 6-YEARS AGO. I FEEL USED AND SOMETIMES LONELY. DONT GET ME WRONG MY DAUGHTER HAS TAUGHT ME WHAT TRUE LOVE IS… BUT IT KILLS ME MY EX HASNT EVEN TRIED TO MAKE IT WORK. HOW DO I GET OVER THIS? HOW DO I MOVE ON WHEN I STILL HAVE OUR RELATIONSHIP RUNIN THROUGH MY VEINS? DOES HE THINK OF ME? SHOULD I GIVE THIS ANOTHER TRY?

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Answer #1

6 yrs is a long time to be with someone when the relationship starts out young, but the fact of the matter is… people change. Im sure we all wish we could end up with our first love, but thats living a fairly tale! Thats why they call them “first love”. A first love is RARELY your only love. The only bond you have now with him is your daughter. Be glad he wants to be in her life. Again, when people say “try talking to him”…Hes the one that chose to leave, and she has tried talking to him when they were together. What more talking can be done when he has moved on and found someone new? You have to realize that now matter how much you think he loved you…his so-called love wasnt true!. You cant keep holding a relationship together because you want your little family, especially when you are the only one that wants it! Trying to convince yourself that he still loves you, when there’s absolutely no proof for the assertion is just… I’m sorry, but it’s pathetic. You’re trying to play the part of the love-starved, abandoned woman in your own internal love-story, but your ex isn’t picking up on his cues. Accept it. Time to admit that it’s over and move on. If your ex wanted you back, he would have let you know. Instead, he has a new girlfriend. That’s all the information you require. You cant move on because you dont want to. Keep in mind that he hasn’t exactly broken down your door with cries of “Oh, take me back!” You cant make someone want to be with you, because that just doesnt happen!! You need to concentrate on your daughter, and stop trying to live in the past. You will not be able to move forward until you do! Just remember…God doesnt give us anymore than we can handle. Trust me..this will make you stronger! I wish you all the luck!

Answer #2

He was a bastard but this time he’s right. You two need to talk and be able to be friends. It’s hard on a kid whose parents won’t talk. You seem to be assuming if he wants frienship there’s a chance for a relationship. There ain’t. Simply, he cheated and there are more kinds of cheaing that just other girls. He left you for another life. It might not have been antoher girl then, or maybe there was but he walked out when he knew you needed the support the most and a guy that isn’t there for the bad times as well as the good isn’t worth it! My sister’s husband quit his job not long after they got married, has been at home for a month doing no chores and nothing but drinking and smoking inside while she’s severely sick with a tricky pregnancy letting her do all the housework while still working fulltime. My mother’s advice is move out and come back home and sort whatever other issues out when her grandchild’s health is safely away from ciggerette fumes and built up dirty dishes and washing. In other words, a relationship is second priority- you have a child to care for.

Answer #3

try and work out for your child you dont have to crawl bac to him just b his friend for your daughter’s sake.hope I helped.

Answer #4

if you give him another try he will prolly juss do it to ya again. gurl go wit ur heart

Answer #5

your story is so sad. well, i think your relationship has stayed so long, 6 years is not a joke. try talking to him calmly( be his friend) and find out what made him turn his back on you so suddenly, I think he still loves you, for him to want to be friends with you….. i believe that for every action, there is a reason. only when you know his reasons will you know what to do. Your love for him should not go to waste. Maybe a miracle might just happen and he might come back to you. You must tell him how you feel about him and also tell him how much you get hurt with the current situation. Pray hard to God so that your child grows up in a marital home. All the best.

Should I try to make it work with the guy who left me pregnant?

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