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How can I deal with my Mom's violent boyfriend?

Ok, this is going to be long but please listen!! My moms been dating this guy for almost 6 months now, maybe more, I don’t know! …but, he seemed pretty cool, seemed like someone I could get along with. I was happy because my mom was happy. Then after ahwile I’ve noticed he had a bit of a drinking problem. One night, he got mad at my mom for something and he started breaking EVERYTHING in our house. and none of the stuff is his! he broke the cable to our phone, he broke our chairs and tables from throwing it, and tons of other stuff. ya later on in the week I was mad, who wouldnt be. But of course, I got over it and accepted his apology. Then a couple weeks later, he did it again, but this time, really scared me! he chased me mom around the table trying to hurt her. He flipped over the refridgerator, like it was nothing. Then I told him I was going to call the cops. then he broke our phone! so I was SOL for that. then he kept on breaking stuff. Earlier in the week I found out we got our phone turned off. him and my mom told me it was because they couldnt pay the bill, so I was like…ok w/e…no big deal…but then I found out from my brother, he spent $400 dollards on coke instead of the phone bill…and thats what really made me upset. Now hes trying to act like nothing ever happend. and ever since my mom’s been with him, shes been a whole nother person..I dont even know her and e more. She always in a bad mood and I never want to be here!!! I need help because im lost on what to do!!

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Answer #1

if your mom is a whole other person now, then you might wanna talk to one of your teachers (or someone you trust) first so if anything happens you have someone to back you up. then i would write a letter so she is forced to listen to what you have written, its the best way to get your point across without saying things you dont mean. give your mom a hug and tell her you really care about her and that you want her to be happy and you dont think this man is helping. tell her YOU are not happy, that youve been having to talk to close adults to help you handle this. give her a hug and tell her if things dont change then youre going to go to a friends home for a while until things do change. that will be the biggest wake up call. and stay really calm and understanding the whole time, it will make her less volnerable to getting upset. here are the steps in a list: -talk to an adult who you trust -write your mom a letter -talk to your mom -let her know you care about her and want to help -let her know what YOU need -tell her things need to change -explain to her what youll do if they dont change -stay calm and hold eye contact. -give your mom a hug, it always helps.

hope i helped..im always here if you need advice..ive been through this too, i know how it feels so dont feel alone. there are people who care about you and want to help, its your decision to except it or not. :D bye

Answer #2

i agree with lela! somehow get a phone and call 911 and get him out of there! as fast as u can. ur mom and u dont need a guy doing that. hes not worth it. good luck!

FANTASY

Answer #3

talk to your mom. if she doesn’t listen, leave!!! stay with a friend until she gets her head screwed on right. she should never put you in a dangerous situation like that. if she truly loves you, herself, and him, then she needs to leave him and take care of what really matters… you.

Answer #4

Hey girl?? You really need to call a teen hotline # and tell them whats going on.. Try talking to your mom first but if she dont listen you need to take actions to get him away from your mom and brother.. Dont go tell anyone that ur mom knows about the situation that involves drugs.. Just tell them that ur moms boyfriend has a drinking problem and he needs to go to rehab

Answer #5

Next time he is drunk and breaking stuff go to someones house and call the police. . .If you think he has drugs in the house Tell the cops. Do what you can before he hurts someone really bad. . . .

Answer #6

talk to her. go talk to a counseler at school, go to a family member. If things are that bad you definatly need to talk to someone… I’m sorry I can’t help more but you really need to go to an adult that could help…

Answer #7

This is a dangerous person who needs some serious help. You and your mom need to cut this man loose before it’s too late. Next time he comes around and starts throwing things you walk out of there and call the cops. They’ll take care of him. I would recommend counseling afterwards. This way you’ll be able to rebuild your relationship with your mom. Good luck and stay safe!

Answer #8

I’ve read a book about a man and a women like that.. she ended up killing him, then herself… if you dont want that to happen you have to act. If it really scares you that bad. go to the police station and just TALK to a police. dont report it or anything… the police might even give you a KEY WORD.. which, alls you have to do is say this ONE WORD to them and they know something bad is happening. (you need a phone) or move out. and keep am eye on the situation from the outside.

Answer #9

As what all the above have said but you and you mum need to be away from this man. I was 2 in abusive relationship for 17 yrs and my kids were there and saw it all.. My biggest regrets are staying with those men instead of getting out. I still can’t forgive myself for putting my kids through it all. You need to talk to someone you can trust about this. We are all here for you if you need to talk.

Answer #10

The same exact thing happened to my best friend. Her mom was with this man Billy. He was into Coke,and one day,he actually died in her house form a Coke OD. You NEED to speak with your mother about your feelings,ASAP You need to tell her you dont feel safe with this man. Make sure she knows you respect him. but You need to tell him that You DONT like the habits he has brought with him.

If Your mother does not listen, find the closest Trusted adult,or even a councelor.

Trust Me,You Dont want to be in that situation anymore.

I hope everything works out, Ive been there with my best friend, it wasnt fun.

Answer #11

Hi there this has really caught my eye this email, I am a youth worker. How old are you? How is the situation at present? How are you feeling lately? Is your mum ok? please respond because depending what state you in etc I may be able to point you in the right direction. cheers

Answer #12

get your mom to get her boy frreind to call the cops

How can I deal with my Mom's violent boyfriend?

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