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How can I choose between these two guys?

I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years several months ago. It was an oppressive relationship, of which I was very happy to get out of. I started dating a few months afterwards and now I find myself in a bit of a pickle. I am in love with two guys. Both of them treat me like a queen (which is a wonderful feeling), both of them would do anything for me. One of them (A) is just like me. I have a great rapport with A, but he is a bit older than I am (I’m 24, he’s 31), he is completely in love with me, but he is not really a romantic (nor a great kisser). No real sparks fly with him, but I love his personality (man, he makes me LAUGH) and we have such a good time together. The other guy (B) showers me with attention, calls me from the road every night to wish me goodnight (he travels a lot for work), likes all the stuff I like, he is a few months younger than me and we just have this physical chemistry that never ceases to amaze me. He is thoughtful, kind, funny, wants to travel with me, loves to try new foods (just like me!) and he adores me. My trouble is…I was stuck in a relationship before and I do not want to make a poor decision and lose one of these guys. I really do love them both. Both of them are asking me to get into a serious relationship and I don’t know what to do. Do you have any advice to help me decide?

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Answer #1

My wife is actually about nine months older than me - I know, not the answer you might have been looking for, but being closer in age is better (imho) as when you age, things change. The guy that’s 31 - well, when you turn 43, he’ll be 50. Guys don’t live as long as women in the US - so, he might not be with you as long.

The other guy, if he has such good physical chemistry with you, is probably a better fit. A long lasting, quality, and fulfilling relationship for most people requires both mental, and physical, satisfaction. Try sticking with just the one that makes you go the most crazy (in a good way - I trust you know what I mean) and see how it works. If you’re both satisfied, then you made the right choice.

You might also try imagining being without either of them. Now, given the situation where you are alone, and neither of them is with you, or around, or able to be with you in a relationship…who do you feel you miss the most? Does your heart ache for one of them?

If it does, then the one your heart aches for is the best fit, in my view. Good luck, and thanks for asking your question here.

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