I need help...I need change...

The first step would be to realize that your situation is not all that unique. Right now, you have an overinflated image of just how out of control your life and lifestyle is, and I have to tell you, unless you’re turning tricks to support your premature crack baby while still trying to score to feed a burgeoning meth habit, you’re just another run of the mill rebellious teen. Drinking, drugs, relationship drama, suicidal depressions, cutting, bad hair styles, raging hormones leading to bad sexual decisions – that’s called “adolescence.” I think that’s how Webster’s defines it, actually.

Putting things in perspective will help things seem a little more manageable. Right now, you have the idea that your situation seems a little hopeless because it is so extreme, but even in your question, you’re exaggerating things. You claim to “have never stayed home a weekend in my life,” but you’ve only been partying maybe a third of your life, tops. You’re freaking out that you still don’t have a license, but you’’re only 17. I knew plenty of people who didn’t get a license until their late-20s. and here in New York, most people never bother. You say that you can’t begin to tell us the things you have done, but I think between myself and a few other advisors on this site, we could tell you stories that would have you under the bed and weeping within five minutes. You say you’re an alcoholic. You’re not. You just drink a lot. There’s a big difference.

The point of all this is not to sit and call you a liar and say your problems aren’t real problems, because I believe they are. But again, put things in perspective. You’re life is not an out of control mess, it’s just unbalanced. If you have influences that are feeding negative energy into your life, choose not to deal with them anymore. Work on replacing them with positive things only after you’ve stopped wasting your time on the negative. If your friends are making you feel lousy by not picking up their phone, stop calling them. Maybe you will feel alone for a while, but who says being alone has to be a bad thing? It makes it easier to study, if nothing else.