How to stop being so shy?

At school I’m really shy. I don’t raise my hand in class, and if the teachers asks me a question it feels as if my throat is getting tighter, so when I answer the question it comes out slightly croaky. I hang around with people but barely say anything at all, if I do say something it won’t be a lot. There’s only a few people I can actually have a proper conversation with. I struggle to maintain eye contact with others, some people know I’m shy, but to others I seems like I’m rude or stuck up. When I was younger, I was really loud, but, when I was about 7 years old I became really quiet and never said anything at all, not even to my friends. 3 years later, the teacher forced me to speak to somebody I didn’t know, and I only just managed to get the words out. From then on I managed to speak to a few other people, but only my really close friends. At home I’m quiet or reserved at all. I can speak normally and in a clear voice, but I still can’t hold eye contact. My parents don’t even know how quiet I am in school, the teachers have told them I am quiet, but my parents have never really paid much notice to it except from telling me not to be so quiet in school. I don’t do extra-curricular activities, and rarely get invited to parties. How can I be less shy around people?

Answer #1

Have you ever wondered why you don’t like to make eye contact? Are you afraid that whenever you look at someone they’re judging you? Try to really find out the reason why you don’t like attention put upon you. Do you feel like people will make fun of you? Actually when you’re really nervous and shy people notice you more believe it or not, and they talk more about why you’re so “weird”. I’m saying this because someone I know used to be exactly like that and I never understood why. She told me that it was because she was constantly thinking about what others thought of her. The most important thing to do is never think that way! There is someone who is always thinking badly of you and theres nothing you can do to change that, so just learn to accept that. Always try to be happy and if your teacher asks you a question in class, try to answer it the best you can, don’t think about your voice or how stupid you sound. If you exude more confidence in yourself, it really shows and it makes you more appealing to others, as well as it makes you feel a whole lot more comfortable in your own skin. Everyone is different. If you like to keep to yourself thats fine, but don’t be shy…theres a big difference. I really hope you can deal with this. I know its really tough because its a lot of self work, you really have to work on building up your confidence, and that can take a long time. Why don’t you try taking some acting lessons out of school? Maybe that will help you be better with your voice and expressing yourself? I hope you can work this out. gluck

Answer #2

OK , I’m kinda the same way, but instead of talking I used to bend over and I kept my head down everywhere I walked in school! you do not know how many times my teacher made me stand up straight and forced to talk. (but now I grew out of the shy stage) ok, well anyway just talk!! Yeah even though it maybe hard just TALK!! BE super funny and talk!! Just not to get you in trouble!! but yeah 4 the 4th time just TALK!! Talk to friends at school, your friends friends!! your parents!! just talk and be funny!! I mean think bout it. What in the world will it hurt if you just go around and talk to people??? If the teacher asked you a question (and you know it) raise your hand and tell her the answer!! (but first clear your throat)! and you will make new friends and maybe even a boyfriend. but when you do talk don’t do the small talk thing with your head low! Like when someone asks you a question look up at them and answer them!! DON’T HESITATE!!! AT ALL!! you know how to talk and be funny SO DO IT!!!

    I have faith in u!!
                   (listen to me!)
                                    GOOD LUCK!!!
                                                       :) Bubblicious97 :)
Answer #3

Ok, im the same exact way!!! It sucks SO BAD! I think that im pretty, you know, but I have very very low confidience and self esteem!! Im 16 and I havent had a boyfriend in 2 years, and the reason is because im so shy! Sometimes I just come home and cry because I feel so stupid for being so QUIET. Hot guys try to talk to me all the time, and I just smile and look at the floor. I need help 2. maybe we can help each other lol. you should add me to your friends! But I know EXACTLY how you feel. When im home I talk to my parents normally, and when people. hang out with me out of skool I act totally diff. I talk a lot and im loud infront of my friends.. This really is ruining my life.. I think we could both benefit from each!

Answer #4

I kinda know what your’e going through, except its the oppisite with me. I used to be quite, now I’m sometimes loud and sometimes quite.

Being qute isn’t a bad thing, its just that you should have a balance of being outgong in some situations and being more reserved when its appropriate. I’m trying to learn to do that more myself, but once you figure that out, people will be able to see your true personality!

Answer #5

talk and be loud, lol dis doesnt sound rite buh diss the nerds in front of every one and evry one will laugh and dont just focus on hanging out wit one group of people, hang out wit evry1 and make sure you luk gud. Then, your quietness would turn out 2 a way of playing hard to get… and you’ll just be so much popular…trust me…it doesnt seem logical but this is just how society works and if you want to make it big you may just have to do things such as making fun of someone else to get it.

Answer #6

I was the same way in Elementary school but when I got to high school I sorta got tired of being the one left behind because I was soo shy…so I started thinking and I came up with a solution..Keep in mind and tell your self that there is noone better than you…NOONE…theres is nothing in this world that can make another person better than anyone else…and no matter what you so say or even if you make a mistake…there is someone who has already done, said, and made that mistake…sooo…dont be shy and speak up …DONT BE SCARED

Answer #7

Theres a difference. of being shy and being quiet. Im social, I talk to others, and I talk to my teachers. But im a quiet girl. Which means im not obnoxious

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