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never had a girlfriend and I am 19 or a first kiss, am I weird or just a sad lonely individual?what can I do. I am a rather attractive individual but yet I sit in a dark hole that is my schoolwork. I live near the beach and I still can't find anyone to hold my hand and make me feel loved. what can I do
Hey, I was 19 before I ever kissed or received a kiss. No big deal.
My recommendation is to get out of your dark hole and put yourself in situations where there are other people. Get involved in club activities at school, if possible. Look for work opportunities where you get to know other people. Start looking at people's faces and into their eyes as you see them throughout the day. Don't forget to smile and look pleasant. Other people are not likely to be attracted to someone who has a depressed or too serious appearance.
Here are some examples of how I have met girls to date:
I worked in a lab at school for two years. Most of the lab assistants were girls. I got to know several of them and dated three of them. But the only way I could have done this is to get to know them and feel comfortable with them from daily interacting with them. When you see somebody often, it easy to ask them out because you already know something about them and what to expect from them. It reduces the fear. We joked around in the lab so much that even if I were rejected when I asked a girl out, it would have been no big deal.
Also, I found beaches to be depressing when I didn't have a girlfriend. They are a difficult place to meet a girl; most girls seem to be onguard at the beach because they are generally very exposed and are suspicious of a strange guy approaching them. However, I have met three girls this way. Two of them were friends and were sunning themselves wearing extremely tiny bikinis. Seeing this sight, I couldn't help myself; I was completely overwhelmed with a desire to talk with them and I went over and introduced myself. Interestingly, the first thing one of them asked me was if I was a "pervert"! But the other girl had a boyfriend with a boat, and she thought I was nice and asked me if I'd like join them for a boat ride. Given their gorgeous bodies in those extremely tiny, crocheted bikinis, I couldn't refuse. We all went out on the boat later that day, but nothing more happened.
The third girl simply walked over and introduced herself when I was sitting alone on the beach the next summer. She was attractive, but was not dressed in swimwear. She told me she wasn't into the beach scene, and didn't need to lie naked in the sand to get a guy. She was right. We had dinner that evening, but nothing more became of that relationship either.
I met my current girlfriend at a party that my "date" invited me to. My "date" was a nurse that I met at a doctor's office. She invited to go to a party with her. When we got to the party, we each began "mixing." A couple of girls looked toward me and smiled, but there was this one lovely, tall, slim young woman who really struck me with her honesty. We talked a long time at the party, and exchanged phone numbers. We have been dating for over two years now.
The lesson here is that you have to put yourself into situations to meet people, and you have to be receptive to meeting people. You have to look pleasant and friendly. And, sometimes you have to make the first move, but not always. But it does take effort and constant thought about how to make yourself accessible to other people.
By the way, girls often like to do and enjoy the same things that guys do. So, when asking a girl out, suggest doing something or going somewhere that you already know about. Chances are that the girl will also enjoy it, and you will be much more comfortable doing it.
Hope that helps some.
That sounds a lot like a friend of mine from college, named Dave. He's a great guy, but the problem was he'd never talk to women. Generally speaking in the USA at least, it's the guy that initiates the discussion, etc.
Best bet is to make friend's with women - eventually, you'll find one that wants to be more than friend's with you. If you have any hobbies, then try inviting a friend to enjoy one with you - like roller blading, starbucks coffee, or long walks on the beach, etc. As long as you're out there, getting to know other women, you'll do fine.
Besides, a lot of women will appreciate the fact that you're not "used goods" and will have a lot of respect for you for that.
hope that helps, ~thedude.
hey, your not weird and your not alone about you being 19, single and ot kissed thers plenty of us out ther!
