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I cheated on my ex, left him. Now he wants me back..

A year ago I was in a 4 year relationship. We were both under a lot of pressure during our final year of Uni at that time and were drifting apart, but I can still remember the last time I saw him at a friends birthday and we were so happy to see each other. During this time I got talking to another guy and we met up and sleep together after a night out. I felt so guilty and soon after I broke up with my boyfriend. I told him about the other guy and he still asked me to stay with him and I said no… After this I started seeing this guy who I cheated on him with. In the beginning he made an effort but it soon became aparant that I was only good as a late night booty call. Which at the time suited me as I was very confused and had a lot of personal issues. Eventually I sunk into depression. This guy was not helpful , he only saw this as an opportunity to control and manipulate me. I begged him to make me his ‘wifey’ and he told me only if I stopped smoking, drinking and got ride of my pot belly was I worthy (I am a tall girl size 12 in UK sizes not fat). He would never give me compliments and took every opportunity to berate me and put me down. For a while I was under his spell because of everything I felt worthless and uncappable of trusting my own judgement. I started breaking up with him, sleeping around to regain control and feel loved and then running back to him messing a few guys around in the process. During all of this I blocked out thought of my loving ex and thought that I did not deserve him. Until one day I cracked and meet up with him and told him how I really felt. He revealed that even though he has a new girl and was living with her he still loved me and felt like we should of never broke up. I have been seeing a councellor for a little while and feel stronger than I have ever done before. Now my ex is saying if I am serious then theres a chance for us… We discussed what went wrong and agreed that we were young imature and that our love is the most important thing. And yet I am still unsure…he lives with his girlfriend so its a big decision for him and he has to know whether I am ready. When I have seen him recently all I want to do is kiss him and hold him. But I cant! I was concerned that I only wanted him back because this guy has treated me like shit! and that I am lonely, but I feel stronger by the day and able to cope being single. I still talk to the guy but I know its a waste of time because he is never going to treat me right. I know that I could drop him, but shouldnt I be able to drop him without running into the arms my ex first? I know this was long winded… Soz for that x N.

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Answer #1

take some time to work on your self first.. stay away from any kind of relationship with any guy for a while … quit smoking drinking and any unhealthy habit .. work on your self esteem.. exercise to improve your body and feel better about your self.. focus on your job or study improve your life in general.. pamper your self.. relax and go out with friends ..but stay away from relationships for a while because your hurting your self and the guys too … become a better new you and sort things out in your head.. if you really love him get back together with him after you work on healing your wonds and put the past behind you and start over … if you found out that your not that inlove with him get just move on tell him before you ruin his relationship with his current girlfriend .. it will be a fresh new start .. fresh relationship with out mistakes during that time give your ex the time to sort things out in his head .. does he really still love u.. can he really look past what happend .. can he really forgive you and not bring things up every now and then in the future and make you feel bad about what happend.. is he really not inlove with his girlfriend,,, remember that your goning to ruin another girl’s life by getting back together.. try to think of all aspects like he is living with her now .. is he going to move in with u.. or out and in a new place on his own until you get used to the new situation and new relationship then move in together.. avoid digging in the past.. playing the blame game.. making each other feel bad about your past relationship and so.. just start over if it is what the two of you really want.. he wants you back but do you want him back? answer a lot of questions and share the answers just communicate more to figure things out without arguing fussing and hurting each other… but before all that you need the time on your own for your self to get back on your feet and make sure you will stay there on your feet then when your strong enough and ready start on sorting things out… keep the connection light between the two of you during that time so you stay connected but not too involved.. you dont want him cheating on his girlfriend and making him feel bad about him self … you dont want to be the other woman who happens to be the ex … you dont want to find out later that you dont want a relationship with him after you made him breakup with his girlfriend moved out because you dont want to feel guilty later on about ruining his life and keeping the connection light because you dont want to lose it completely so he moves on and stays with his girlfriend when you want him back… you need to be careful and wise in your decisions from now on

Answer #2

Thanks. I am in the process of this right now. I am moving to a new house and starting a new job so I have different things to focus on. I don’t think my ex will break up with his girl so quickly if I tel lhim to take it slowly. Its very hard to speak to him and not want him back. With regards to my current boyfriend, or booty call… I seemed ot cut him off for a while then feel low one day and go back then he anages to convince me to stay by saying things like he wants to marry me… its all crap…I spend a day with him and he just puts me down and the other day he punched my leg for lying to him. I told him if he did that again he would be gone. He only wants me to go to his house and he wont go on any dates with me. I told him this is boring for me and I will get bored of sex only as I feel like we have connection in that way but not in anything else. To take this relationship in to my control I told him that he can only see me on a date or he has to come visit me at my new place. Inevitibily he wont do this so its the perfect excuse to dump him again. That is until I feel low again…but I have some measures put in place to stop me from going back…

Answer #3

NO its true love trust me I’ve been with guys who are shity and lonely but I found a guy I truly like and I stopped fating and flirting with any guy but the one I like to prove im dedicated to him only to

I cheated on my ex, left him. Now he wants me back..

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