I am writing a book NO HATE COMMENTS!!

Fear!

I ran. That’s all I could do. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest and my lungs felt like they were going to collapse. But I couldn’t stop not with them behind me and gaining with every stride. I could hear their two padded paws thumping against the forest floor, twigs snapping and skidding over creeks. I could hear them gaining on me so I pushed myself harder, my midnight black hair streaming out behind me. They heard this and I heard the thump as they dropped to all fours for extra speed. I could hear their panting breath, I could feel it warm and sticky on my neck, I could smell it, decaying bodies is the best way to describe it. I could hear their jaws snapping. Suddenly its hand fell on my shoulder “Sklaraven” it hissed. That was the first night I dreamt of the were-wolves.

“Sheesh your jumpy today Pilly” my best friend Shelly tells me using my cute nickname, I’ve had since I was four, the next day. “Yeh I had a scary dream last night” I mumble, I grimace when the memory that seemed so real filled my head. “Right” she says. “Well I just try and remember whatever is in the dark is always there in the light”. Somehow I didn’t find comfort in the words. I just smiled. The bell rings and we start walking into class. I can’t concentrate all day. After math, Ben says “are you ok?” “Yeh” I say “just tired”. “See you at home then” he says. “Lilly” Ms. Burnet calls out to me as we collect our books. “Could I talk to you for a second” she has to raise her voice over the shuffle of feet and chatter of the other students. As I walk up to her desk Shelly whispers in my ear “Ill wait for you outside”. I just nod. I hope I’m not in trouble. “Lilly” Ms. Burnet starts. I just stare at her. “Are you ok, you just seem very detached and you got three out of fifty in your test. You never fail” she looks concerned. “I’m just a little tired” I lie. She see’s through it. “I understand if you don’t want to talk to the school guidance officer”. “I’ll try” I mumble and shuffled out. She watched me go with sympathetic eyes.

“So what did Ms. B want aye” Shelly asks me when we were walking home. “Ah she just wanted to know if I was ok and that I should go and see the guidance officer” I rolled my eyes. “Well babe you have been acting a bit odd, like when Ben tapped you on the shoulder today and you screamed and jumped like a meter”. Why is everyone so worried, I had a bad dream get over it! It feels kind of babyish, actually. We gossip and link arms and skip down the road. Just because we were in a jolly moody doesn’t mean I couldn’t see the slitted eyes peering from the bushes and the thudding of gaining were-wolves.

As soon as I get home I slam the door behind me, even though the smelly, hot, sticky breath on my neck isn’t really there. I dump my bag in the hall cupboard and walk into the kitchen where I can smell something yummy cooking. Ben and mum are leaning over the kitchen bench whispering furiously. They stop abruptly when I walk in. “Don’t let me rain on your parade” I joke trying to start the conversation light. I can tell something bad is going to happen. Mum just smiles stiffly and Ben doesn’t even try, he looks just plain pissed. “What did I do this time” I sigh plonking down beside Ben. He opens his mouth to talk but mum holds up her hand. “I’ll tell her sweetie”. He just huffs and lays his head on his arms.

hope you like… and can you give me some advice…?? on how it is

It has the making of a good fantasy novel but in my point it still requires a few improvements but not as many as informer_220 thinks. A bit of advise as most pubilishers only read the first page of any novel that they receive, try to make it as good as possible.

I love vampire books and wearwolves id read it. Idc how old the auther is orwhat id still read it. Great job get it published!!!

umm ohk well I will type out the first page if you really want… and umm informer 220 no offence but that was kinda harsh

Theres A LOT of young writers that have writen GREAT books. so its your life your dream dont let anyone push you down. you want it published then publish it. dont let your “friends” tell you other wise. :]

Vampires and Were-wolves are science fiction, not fantasy, but they are still things that people enjoy reading about.

Just make sure your story is unique, and you should have no problems…don’t listen to people who want to hinder your plans - you do what feels right for yourself.

first off, you cant get it published or even looked at before you finish it so I think its an elaborate lie, sorry, if it is true though, you wouldnt mind giving out the first page to read would you?

secondly, if its a love story with werewolves and vampire’s than yeah you are sorta ripping off twilight

thirdly, werewolves hate vampires, if one does make a couple you are ripping of underworld O_O

I like it. I wanna read more I love stories like this. :]

reality is harsh… oh and I havent introduced myself properly im mr. an-enemy-a-day 235 people who dont like me and still counting XD

O_o one word for the story…

Medicore

-_- as for advice… there are huge problems with the sentences you cannot write how the main characters hair was streaming out behind her if shes the one telling the story O_o

heres an idea…

FEAR!

she ran as fast as she could, not daring to look behind. faster, faster her mind screamed dont look back!. her heart pounding harder by the second as her pursuers raged and howled, how did she get here? no time, she has to run! the forest black as night, she could hear nothing but the foul breath of the beast behind her getting closer and closer. no, no, no, no!!!. she could see a light just a head, she prayed to her legs not to let her down, not tonight, not now. just a bit more. before she could reach the light a cold hard fear came upon her as she felt the putrid hand grab her shoulder and before she let out a even the smallest of yelps, it had bit down on her neck, piercing her flesh with white hot fangs. Sklaraven the creature howled, as she started to drift away in the cold darkness around her…

O_O I think this is good

PS. the stars symbolize speech, since the traditional characters for speech dont show up on FA I used those instead…

I think its funny when people pride themselves on how many people dislike them, and go out of their way to go against the grain. Informer, you seem intelligent - but its ‘mediocre’ not ‘medicore’. Anyway the young child is honestly seeking advice- why not use your powers for good? ; ) Now I’m scared to post one of my poems- I can take criticism but would prefer not to be annihilated in the process. Gorgie- age does not matter, and either does subject matter. Look at how many books are there about love and fantasy and we just never get enough of them. The reader knows the difference between good writing and writing that is just trying to sound good. Does that make sense?