How to make my Dad like my boyfriend!

You cannot make anyone do anything. You need to learn that lesson now.

Your dad seems almost jealous of the time you spend with him.

He doesn’t want his little girl to grow up. So you need to talk to him and instead of letting him get away with saying you’re being paranoid, ask that he lets you finish, and then make a list of the things he does.

Tell him that you want to spend x amount of time with him, and as long as you are doing your school work, and everything else you need to do, you don’t see why you are not allowed to see him.

Tell him you want to understand his side of the story. And instead of attacking him (You do this), try “it feels like to me that you don’t like me being with my boyfriend, in the past you have done this, said this, etc etc, and I want to understand how you feel about him, and why you feel like I shouldn’t be spending time with him.”

Try to be as non confrontational, don’t get upset, don’t argue, don’t shout, don’t whine, try and be the mature one here and see what he has to say.

I know you feel betrayed (and you can let him know this), but assuming your dad doesn’t hate you and isn’t trying to make you unhappy, he probably has his feelings and reasons too.

Remember there’s two sides to the story, and let him know that you want to see his side, and you’re hoping that he can talk to you and understand yours…

I didnt mean attacking in a you’re fighting him sort of way. But in a you’re accusing him of being the problem sort of way (which he is, but that’s besides the point). I’m not even accusing you of not being mature about it. Telling people what they did is how most of us just tend to speak. When people fight with others, or even have discussions with others, they tend to say “you did this” or “you are this”. Just try using more “I” words, and if discussions arent working, then they arent working. You need to change tactics. Stop trying to discuss past behavior, it is pointless if he refuses to talk about it, and if he feels bad about it, then there’s really no use to it. Try and move on from here. If he does something, just calmly say how you feel about the situation. At this point that is all you can do. If he listens and starts reacting differently, then that’s great. If he doesnt, then you might have to accept that he’s not going to like your boyfriend and that is the end of it.

lol, hardly, more learning than anything else (psych major and now counseling, they teach us all these things). I have attempted to use this with my best friend though. We were constantly fighting. It worked amazingly well (of course this tends to work best when both people are using it because they both want to fix the relationship, but even one sided, it is amazingly effective)

o ki didnt read your whole msg but fr looks of it u just need to get them to meet if your dad dosnt like him because hes a year younger see how far apart your parents are in age and or even if you have any realitives 1 year apart remind him its no diff in your case

Look I’m not gonna read all the crap you put sorry but just for the part “How to make my Dad like my boyfriend” well it’s not going to happen I have a older sister and my pops has hated every boyfriend she’s ever had no matter how nice they are it’s just the way dads are with there daughters its called being over protective be glad he’s over protective rather then not giving a sht.. Dads will never like a boyfriend until they put a ring on your finger Im pretty sure its been the same way with all of my girlfriend’s dads.. but just dont pay attention to that crap eventually if you really love him and yall have dated for a long time and its a really good relationship he might warm up to it.. and dont think 8 months is a long time that aint sht forreal..

Ok cool thanks!:) You sound really experienced!

Well your parents arent going to like him until you are out of there house and they dont have to worry about you being taken care of. The reason I say this is because My husband and I met when we were 15 and 16 and my parents wouldnt give him a chance at all. We ended up having a kid when we were 17 and 18 years old and have to finish school was a task. Not until I turned 18 and moved away from them they seen that my husband, boy friend at the time wasnt going anywhere. And now 15 years later the apoligized to us for the way they acted. I asked my Mom and Dad why they didnt like my husband and they said it was because they didnt know him and didnt trust for him to stick around in my life and our sons. Parents dont always have the right answers but you hang in there. And if you and your Boy friend are ment to be you stick it out girl!

Ya sorry I phrased the question like that so that it would catch attention and not be too long! I know I can’t MAKE my Dad like my boyfriend,but I just wish he would give him a chance and at least act civil to him and not act all icy when I mention him or when he comes over! I don’t it to be uncomfortable when they’re around each other. I just want my Dad to accept that he is a part of my life!

My boyfriend’s family have welcomed me like their own from the start and I know that my parents aren’t the most social in regards to having people over and aren’t all hugs etc. but

I know my Dad’s over protective and that’s how Dad’s are but my boyfriend can’t really get his head around that because he has no sisters!

How am I attacking him?!?:o

I’ve tried to talk maturely to my Dad about this before and he just tells me either “it’s not up for discussion” or “what I say goes” etc. My parents (especially my Dad) have this inability to discuss and open up about things. My mom gets frustrated by questions and just can’t handle it and has to be in control while my Dad probably just wants to be all macho and when I bring up the stuff he’s done in the past to do with my boyfriend that was unfair and embarrassed me he just ends the discussion straight away and says he’ll stop me seeing him altogether or punish me somehow if I continue to talk about it.

I know he’s ashamed about most of his actions now when I put them into words to him now but won’t admit he was wrong.

It’s just this vicious cycle that’s driven a wedge between me and my Dad especially.

look no matter how hard you try…your dad’s not gonna like any boyfriend you pick out…unless he chooses him for u. Dad’s are just like that…my dad still wants to wait around with a shot gun and scare them off. lol I suggest you plan something casual to do…such as inviting your boyfriend over to watch a movie with the family or having dinner…your dad will probably more comfortable with having your whole family around and having you where he can see u. This way your dad can gradually learn to get used to the idea and maybe even learn to trust your boyfriend…