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How to confront my grandmother about her drinking?

My grandmother has been an alcoholic for 15+ years and it really is starting to effect her health. She grinds her teeth constantly, has real bad short-term memory loss (she asked me the same question 3 times in 15 minutes the other night and then asked the same question again the next morning when she was sober), she coughs every morning for 20-30 minutes (and she doesn’t smoke), and she just looks sickly! I really want to confront her about this, especially because I’m about to have my baby here any day now and I’m affraid for him to be in the house with her, but I’m not sure as how to approach her. I’m affraid if I do, she’ll throw us out, or might even become worse. Any advice on how I can ask bring the subject up? I know she’s going to do what she’s going to do, but I really need her to know I’m worried, both about her and my baby.

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Answer #1

If you have any other family around that you and your grandmother are close to who share your same concerns, tell them that you’re in a position where you need to confront your grandmother and ask them to join you. When you have a group of people who mutually care about eachother it’s a lot easier to tackle this problem, because whereas you can ignore one or two people confronting you, 4 or 5 becomes a lot harder to turn away from.

With any situation where you’re confronting someone who has an addiction, you need to make sure to talk in a non-accusing non-judgmental way, otherwise she’ll feel attacked and be more likely to act hostile and unfriendly. Just be sure to tell her that you care about her, you care about her health, the health of yourself and your baby, and the dangers and damages that come along with her drinking. Alcoholics are less prone to care about themselves, but when you bring their loved ones into the equation they’re more attentive and sensitive.

some links that are helpful:

http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/alcohol.shtml

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org

Answer #2

Why don’t you let your Grandmother live her life? She’s obviously worked her entire life to get to where she is, and she doesn’t need someone to tell her how to live her life.

It sounds like she’s sick from different things, other than alcohol. Why don’t you suggest she go to the doctor for a regular check-up.

Answer #3

Congratulations on the soon-to-be new arrival. You will have your hands full with that little bundle of joy. I’m sorry to hear about your Grandmother’s problem. I can’t tell you how to approach that problem, exactly. First remember that is a disease. Then I strongly recommend joining Ala-non. It is an organization that helps family and good friends of alcoholics. Get their phone number through AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). In St. Louis you can call (314) 647-3677 to get a number. Your joining Ala-non will not only help you, it may help your Grandmother realize that she needs help.

(My mother used to ask the same question 3 times in 10 minutes and she wasn’t an alcoholic, just old.)

Good Luck!!

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