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How long should I wait for my girlfriend to say she loves me?

We have been dating for a year, 4 months long distance between countries, 3 months with a few weeks together and then 4 months this year living together in the same / now different appartments in her home country / town. I said I loved her after 4 months which I did and moved country for her..I am still waiting for the feelings to be reciprocated after 7 - 8 months…it is an issue for us, she thinks it is because I am not working, trying to find work is tough and we have moved from her home town to a new one, I am learning her language as fast as I can but it is difficult finding work.She speaks fluent English. The second reason is that she says she has childhood / adult insecurities which means she tries to say it but cant…her behaviour / actions are ok or enough to make me feel she cares for me a lot. She says I am a great guy, cares me for a lot, wants to proceed but I have serious doubts. I also want us to come back to my homeland next year and she will not commit have just moved to a new city here and a new job which was against my wishes in the first place…I want to have children and a family…I am 40, how much longer / how much more do I invest in this relationship? help!

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Answer #1

Well for one if you plan on marrying her and starting a family with her then your should plan on investing the rest of you life in her and you relationship.

Second you cant rush her. You even said yourself that by her actions you can tell how much she cares for you. Just because she isn’t ready to put it into words doesn’t make her feelings any less. For some people its really hard to say I love you to others. Maybe because of a bad experience when they were younger or it could be simply because that is such a deep imortant statement. People now day toss around I love you like it nothing but it really does have a lot of meaning. Maybe your girl just wants to be completely and totally sure. Or maybe she is just nervous. Your complaining about a year when some people wait several years for their partner to say it.

You need to remember that whether she says she loves you or not, she is still with you, you still love her, you can still be an incredibly happy couple. As signaficant as those three word are, whethers she says them or not it wont change the way you feel about her. So take the relationship for what it is and enjoy what you have instead of wishing for what you don’t and letting the good pass you by.

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