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how is this poem?

here is a poem I wrote. for a boy. who disrespected me, and hurt me.. tell me what you think.

its been so long that I have seen your face. but its better that way. I’m dizzy and so lost. I don’t understand how you have won once again. how do you do this so well, you’re hurting me can’t you tell. you played me for a fool, and when I thought I had control. You dropped me down and let me know, loves a game here nothings real. your words so well rehearsed. you lied to me that’s not a first. you’d think by now I’d learn your games. but some how I forgot someone like you, could be so vain. I’m sick of wasting my time. Hoping that you’ll change, you will always be the same. You told me we were just friends. you said words that I cannot comprehend. I don’t want to be less then. I just want all or nothin’ now where done. and I cant scream or shout. cause I know where through. yeah I know it’s hard but I’ll get over you, some how.

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Answer #1

Can I use this as a song my friends and Ito to a private school and we wre going to perform and I was asking if I could use some of it but change a lot of it email. Me at my username .hotmail or just friend me and talk to me asap thanks

Answer #2

It doesn’t really have a rhyme scheme, aside one or two stray couplets. It’s kind of like lyrics to a song, without music intertwined. It’s alright for expressing your feelings, but from a harsh poetry critic’s standpoint, it could use some revision.

Answer #3

well I do play guitar & sing. so I was thinking of making into a song. but adding a little more to it. and get some rhyme in there. ill repost if I get anything else.

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