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How do you stand up for yourself?

Have you ever been caught off guard by a rude comment, and never knew how to react afterwards? I have that problem where I just don’t know what to say at the time of a rude insult or comment. I usually get really shocked and just become submissive - I sometimes even get a bit shaky! I tend to think about why they said that, and all my thoughts and feelings just go blank or I just laugh it off as if I don’t care. However the moment I step out of the environment, as when I go home, I think to myself WOW why didn’t I just say THIS to them. I’m a very opiniated person and have no problem standing up to my family or friends, and thats just me. But why do I get so nervous when it comes to these people? I guess its easier to stand up to people you love like friends and family because you know they’ll keep loving you. But these people could very well hate you and make your life miserable afterwards, especially if you’re going to have to see them every day, you definitely don’t want any awkwardness in the work place. Any advice?

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Answer #1

hate stuff like this and with the help of my friends, decided not to take peoples crap anymore. I was teased a lot growing up because of my shortness and shyness, and realized I didnt want that anymore. I started going to a gym and karate, which helped build my confidence. but what I do now is just say exactly what is on my mind when I need to say it. if it gets me in trouble, so be it. if the hate me, than so be it. if the realized that what they said about me or someone I cared about was hurtful and apoligizes, thats great. but I just let the words fly. one example, is in a class I was in, some one called someone retarded. I replied” hey, you need to shut up because I know retarted people and know that they are better people than youll ever be.” the teacher was pissed, but the kid was nicer to people.

hope this helps! good luck

Answer #2

Why not just be assertive and say, “You know, that comment was so rude and childish that I’m not going to waste my time responding.”

Answer #3

Well, I wont stand up for myself. Maybe I’ll just calm myself down and forgive them. And of course, I’ll keep a distance from them.. Try not to react as I have a high possibility to get worst. Alright? Good luck! ^^

Answer #4

Find your inner confidence- I’m presuming thats your problem. You need to let people know that you will not take any nonsense from them and that you will not be walked over or seen as a push over. I know- I’ve been there. A couple of years ago I was shy, unconfident and would let anyone and everyone take advantage of me. Now I’m the complete opposite and enjoying my strength.

Hope that made any amount of remote sense,

Good Luck,

Helen. xxx.

Answer #5

I don’t know who people think they are just to be rude to others and say rude things. I think it is best to say nothing because you are better than them if you do that :) You are a step above their class…

Answer #6

First of all, if you want to make a comeback, you can’t give so much thought to consequences. Also, don’t feel like you have to be witty and hurt their feelings like they hurt yours. If you say “Why would you say that? It seems really out of line and irrelevant.” Something like that will definitely catch someone off-guard, even if it seems cheesy. People hate feeling like the villain. Say something cheesy like that at first, and keep practicing, the witty remarks get easier, I promise. hugs, Jill

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