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How do I trust him?

Ok so me and my fiance have been together for a year now. But he just keeps hurting me over and over again first it was with one of his close friends. me and him got into a discussion one day about him leaving me and he said I love you and tried to make it seem like he would never let me go. but to explain how he gets attached he told me that he was in love with Kassi (his close friend) after all of these years he had lived away from her. He was trying to explain to me that once he gets attached he stays that way. Then he tells me that he lied about it and he never had a crush on her at all and that he loves me. Then he called her and yelled at her and told her to never talk to him again and deleted her from everything with me there with him and gave me all of his passwords without me asking him to or anything .

Well a few months later I find out he is talking to this girl bekkah and he is talking bad about me to her like he wants her to think that we are not serious. It hurt me so I asked him not to talk to her. Then I find out he told her about another myspace he had and he has been talking to her there so I broke down and told him I was through he stared to cry and promised me never again and then he did it again. well I broke up with him then and there and told him that he could chose her or me and that it was his choice but I wasn’t coming back until she was gone. Well he hasn’t talked to her since and I know because he doesnt have internet and uses mine when he comes over and I get his phone bill every month so I can check it.

but im still having a hard time trusting him and I need to trust him but its so hard to because he did that to me so many times and its ruining our relationship I feel like since I cant trust him I dont love him even though I know I do I just need help.

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Answer #1

You know what? Think about this. Do you want to get married to someone that you cannot trust? Trust is the #1 thing that will hold your relationship together and let me tell you if hes like this now don’t think things are going to change when you get married. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I can understand how harddd it is to try to break up. Its really crushing and extremely hard if you love the person. But think about your hapiness pleasee. You deserve faithfulness and if he’s talking bad about you to other girls that just means he’s trying to show that he’s pretty much available and he wants them to continue to talk to him. If he was like no I love my girlfriend she’s awesome she’s so sweet then this girl would’ve backed off a little and maybe your fiance didn’t want her to because he likes the attention. Luckily you’re so young so you don’t have to feel rushed to get married - think about it because if you do get married and this continues you may just end up filing for divorce and you will kick yourself later for letting yourself go through that. Love yourself hun, you deserve so much better. Don’t let the boyfriend crying thing fool you, how many times has he made YOU cry, so dont’ feel bad. I hope this helps…best of luck

Answer #2

thanks knbpink12 its nice to know that someone else out there understands and isnt going to lecture me.

Answer #3

I completely understand where your coming from I have the same problem with my fiance and its so hard to do but we have the time to trust him again. I would try my hardest and if it happens again you know its done but he seem like hes ready to commit. And for angelfire2708 she is not to young I am 15 and engaged to my fiance who is 17 so back off.

Answer #4

btw he’s 18 and im 15

Answer #5

I completely understand where you are coming from, I have the same problem with my fiance. I try to give him chances to show he has become a better person and you should really try just one more time and if it doesn’t work out atleast you have time to figure out what to do. And for angelfire2708 she is not to young I am 15 and engaged to a 17 year old and it was the BEST decision I have ever made. So back off.

Answer #6

Ok, for one thing, you are too young to be engaged. How can you possibly know what you want at 15? Your a child!

He keeps saying whatever you want to hear…why not, you keep hanging around. This guy isnt someone I would trust as far as I could throw him. With you being SO young, why would you settle for second best when there are so many respectful, caring guys out there. Is this the kind of guy you want to spend the rest of your life with? Marriage doesnt change anything!

This relationship isnt mature enough to survive dating, let alone making it to the alter.

Answer #7

If there isn’t trust now the marriage will probably not survive…Sorry to be so blunt but that is the way it is.

He sounds like he may have a committment issue and is not ready for marriage.

You may want to search your heart and make a decision as to whether to stay in this relationship.

Having trust issues with the man you’ll going to marry really should give you warning bells!!!

Take Care and be true to yourself.

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