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ok so me and my boyfriend have been together for about 4 years weve only brokn up one time for 7 months.. weve lived together the whole time except for the breakup.I've cheated on him SEVERAL times and I can actually be one of them girls that say " I know my man isnt cheating" because he doesnt hes 22 years older then me..and we have a great relationship except for my dumbasz. I've cheated on him with a few people I ALWAYS use protection though..one particular was his brother that lived with us.. I cheated with him for 2 years without gettin caught.. I didnt do it because I dont love my boyfriend I did it because he was an alcoholic and ALWAYS out at the club or past out drunk... and when I cheat I dont know if anyone can say this but I get an addrenaLin rush because I know im not suppose to and then when I get done I feel like crap and cant stop thinking about it.I havent messed with his brother in over a year ..I finally stopped it.it took a lot.. he still calls me tho knowin I told him im trying to change.but I havent given in.so we broke up last new years and got back together over the summer and sadly the 2nd day we were back together I cheated on him AGAIN with someone I had cheated on him before..I havent seen that guy since because I am trying to change... I do text him tho... I know I shouldnt be... I text a few guys.. girls too... but we just have fun convos never anything physical.now I been going away for 5 days every month to stay with my friends child in the hospital I've met 2 guys in that area and ended up cheating ONCE AGAIN with one of the guys.. same thing Addrenalin rush .. then guilt...when we broke up last yr I told him that I had a cheating problem and thats why I couldnt be with him and because of his alcoholism. when we got back together he stopd drinking..but why cant I stop cheating.. I love this man with everything in me but I seriously think im addicted to cheating...
from reading your question in my opinion I really don't think you love this man deep down.. You can say it til your hearts content but saying it and meaning it are two different things..I was cheated on for a year. Im not the type of girl to cheat because I would hate it to be done on me. Maybe you's need to talk things out. Maybe there's nothing there to stop you. Cause hun if you really loved this man you'd think twice about hurting him.. I was the one that kept my relationship together and then found out I was been cheated on. Its the most horrible feelin ever.. You say you feel like crap when you cheat can you imagine how your boy friend would feel if he found out? I understand that him bein a alcoholic can be a turn off but thats were he need's your support.. But it could be to much to handle for ya.. Maybe you need a break. Experience the single life for a while to get your head around things ya no?
