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How do I decide if I should stay when my boyfriend started college?

Basically, I’ve been in a relationship for a year+. I’m his first and only girlfriend ever. We’ve been spending nights together since we started dating, and we now have lived together in an apartment for about 3-4 months. I love him, but we’ve been having some problems for about a month. Well, I’ve been kind of needy for the last year, and suddenly now I’m not and now he’s crazy about me.

He’s started college, and I know he won’t cheat, but I don’t know that he won’t find a new girl he really likes. I NEVER want to be the person holding him back, because I want more than anything for him to be happy. College is about trying new things, and having fun, and I don’t want to stop him from doing it just because of me. I had him come lay down on the bed with me yesterday to talk, and I kind of told him I was going to leave so he could have a fun college experience. He started to tear up, and he told me “you aren’t allowed to leave”. It’s not like him to say things like that, expecially with break ups! So I decided I’m staying, but I’m not sure if that’s best for him/us.. Also, I’ve been telling him that it’s basically going to end with a break up some time, and he keeps saying how I don’t -know- that, and that we have a real chance at being married some day.

By the way, this guy is SO independent it’s insane. He’s NEVER like this! What does it mean? And would it be better if I left?

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Answer #1

You say he’s independent and maybe he is with his school work, job, or things he does for himself. However maybe he’s Dependent on you more than you think. Have you heard of a saying “Everybody needs to lean on to someone”? He believes that you are the only one he’ll look upon and won’t leave you otherwise.

Earlier on, you said you were really needy of him last year, but not this year. How so? so you are not crazy for him? You don’t want him anymore? Is breakup just an excuse for leaving him? (sorry about this one, but I needed a dramatic one)

I won’t SUGGEST to leave or not to leave him. There is no advice I can give to bend your will. However, I can say that your boyfriend loves you a lot. So much to the point that he is able to wants a future with you.

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