How do I cope with this mess?

Hi everyone. I am new to the board and I am basically looking for advice on love/life in general. I have been married since 2007 and it has been nothing but drama since day 1. My husband was married prior to me. He and his wife of 5 years have one child, a daughter. He had an affair and the mistress got pregnant (with a boy) and the wife left him. He and I met and dated for a while (I did not know all of the details behind all of this) we got married and his family did NOT approve. The next year we had a son. It was everytime that he and I would argue, he would call the “mistress” because they were “friends.” He doesnt do this anymore however, I still have a very hard time dealing with the fact that he did call her in the past. The exwife is getting remarried and wants her new man to adopt the girl. My husband is ok with that decision because we dont get to see her much. NOW the ex is saying no…I am going to court to get your rights taken away, more money and to show what kind of person you really are. The “mistress” is now married and her husband wants to adopt the boy. My husband is ok with that too because he doesnt know the boy at all. He has seen him 4 times in his life and she wont let him call, come see him or know that my husband is his real father (he calls her husband daddy). She said that if my husband does not contact the boy or her that she would agree to let him adopt him. NOW, she is taking him to court for more money, no visitation rights and full custody. Please keep in mind that these two were never married to one another, but to other people when the child was conceived. My husband and I live on 1200.00 per month after all the support, medical and “back medical bills” are paid out and the federal government has already sent notice that the child support that he is paying is at 65% of his pay and its illegal. The state of Texas REFUSES to lower support…The “mistress”–as of today–is going back to court for a $26.00 monthly increase.

I am not whinning or looking for a way out of him paying child support…Those are his children and he should support them. I just dont understand how and why people who are sneaky and underhanded ALWAYS get away with this kind of stuff. I am always stressed out, worried about how we are going to pay for food, rent, diapers, and electric..Which by the way has been cut off twice already. I had a job but couldnt go because I cannot afford daycare for my children. We live about 6 hours from any kind of family… I am just about at witts end and ready to walk out on my husband…I cannot handle the drama, stress and telephone calls from the exwife and “mistress” with all of the arguing over money, rights and visitations…PLUS his mother (as I said at the top) does not approve of me. She is ALWAYS saying…”I wish that he would have stayed married to his first wife, what a waste. My life is so bad..my kids cant even stay married.” My husband says nothing to her…he says that she is entitled to her opinion and it doesnt mean anything. But it does to me…especially when she says it to my face EVERYTIME he leaves the room!

Is there anyone out there with any little slice of advice on how to cope with this mess?? Please only reply with serious answers…This isnt a joke and I am seriously at the end of my rope with this marriage.

Thanks in advance.