How can my love and I unite? Is there any hope?

Hi,

I am miserable an desperate. Please reply my letter below.

I have loved a man for almost 3 decades, and he has loved me too, he says.

We were from the same town and met there when my mother, me, and my siblings were visiting my grandmother and other relatives one summer as we did every summer. After I went back to the state that I lived, my love and I dated for two years. To make the long story short, we separated due to a complete misunderstanding after two years dating while loving each other very much. This happened in 1982. We didn’t argue or anything like that. The misunderstanding was also due to loving each other very much. Long story.

He was devistated by this and married to a lady that his family had found for him. They had three children. The oldest one is 24 years now and the youngest is 10.

I married very late due to my education and had a child after 1 year. My child is 3.5 years old now. However, my husband became very abusive verbally and emotionally and I had to live home with my child. We are in the middle of divorce now.

11 months ago, my old love and I reunited through a social site and started to correspond. After 4 months,he came to the US to see me. (I am not from the US originally but have lived here for almost 18 years). We realized once more that we were still crazily in love with each other.

The big problem is this: He cannot divorce his wife because they get along well and she is innocent and they have three children. My love is coming from a traditional family and almost everybody knows them in their town. If he left his family for me, he would offend everybody in his family. He doesn’t want to lose his children’s love because of me either. As I said, he and his wife get along well but he has never been in love with her. He says that he married to her to forget me.

We love and miss each other so much. But I told her that since he is not choosing me, we cannot have a relatioship as two lovers anymore but that he can come and talk to me if he changes his mind.

Is there any hope in this situation? Can we ever unite and how? I cannot love any man when this man is alive. I married in the past because we thought that we had forgotten each other. But it wasn’t the case. It turned out that neither of us had stopped loving each other.

We both are miserable in two different countries. What should I do? Did I do the right thing by telling him the things above? It doesn’t feel so because I am in pain and so is he.