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How can it still hurt?

Ok so I am going to say sorry for this being so long first because I feel it necessary to tell you the story first. . . .

anyways, almost a year ago I had to put my dog down and he was my best friend, and he was only a puppy and the reason I had to put him down is because he had mental issues and he would bite people I loved and then not remember it and he bit my sister in the face and it was bad she had to get stitches and I was responsable and I put the mozzel on him and then put him outside and I kept looking at him and he would just look at me and he was wondering why he was being punished and I felt so bad about it but I I knew that I had to put him down because I have a little cousin that comes over a lot and I just kept thinking well what if this happened to her and I just kept thinking how bad I would feel if I kept him or gave him away and someone else got hurt so I decided by myself that I needed to put him down and at 16 that is a hard decision to make and when we went to put him down my mom was in worse shape than I was and I was walking him in the vet’s office and I guess his collar was loose because he pulled back because he knew something was wrong and he ran back to the car and sat there and just looked at me and was like telling me that he wanted to go home and I couldn’t take him home because he was a messed up dog and I knew that even though he never even dared to touch me and I was the only one he listened to and I just knealt down beside him and asked him why he was making this so hard and I put his collar back on and picked him up and carried him inside and when I got into the room, and yes I decided to be in the room with him because I thought well I at least owe him that, but it was really hard because he wouldn’t leave my arms and even when he was on the table he was climbing up on me and everyone just kept telling me that he loved me very much and it all just hurt so bad and the vet asked me to hold him so he would be calmer and then when it was done I just put my head on his little body and cried and I said I was sorry over and over again and I said that I loved him and just don’t know how to deal with it anymore because I still miss him sometimes because he was the one (and I know this sounds wierd but) that I would talk to when things just got crazy and he was the one that I would cry on and I just want to know if it will ever get better because I can’t even walk into the vet’s office without thinking of it and I can’t go into that room we were in I mean it hurts and it just tears me up inside. how do I make this feeling go away? please help me, I hate feeling this way and especially since it has almost been a year since it happened.

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Answer #1

Your story brought tears to my eyes. I’m very sorry for your loss. You’re right, at 16, it is an extremely difficult decision to make but as I’m sure you were told, it was the right one. You prevented anyone else for possibly getting seriously injured. You have to keep telling yourself that you did the right thing. Don’t listen to the post above. I had a cat, from I’ve had since he was a kitten. I grew up with him. I played with him and talked and even cried to him. It’s not crazy, it’s your pet. They’re like family and they know when you’re upset. When my cat turned 16, he started acting strangely, and he started attacking not only my other pets, but he turning on me and my family as well. As much as it killed me, I knew that something was seriously wrong and I had to make the decision to put him down. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do and whenever I think about it, my eyes tear up. I miss him a lot. It does eventually get better. You’re never going to forget your puppy but in order to move forward, you have to stop thinking about and reliving your horrible experience, and instead think about all the positive things and fun times you had with him. You have to stop blaming yourself and stop second guessing your decision. Know in your heart it was the right one to make. I wish you luck, I know how hard it is.

Answer #2

That is a very tough issue you are dealing with. Grief heals with time. Even grief that is laced with so much guilt. You will always remember this situation. It will always hurt, but you will also grow from it.

I know it sounds odd to tell you that you will grow from going through putting your dog to sleep. But you will, you already did, you showed a lot of courage and strength going to the Vets and staying with your dog and then holding him, all took so much courage, courage that many an adult could not even do. So already you have gone through a very strong life lesson.

I believe that animals are spiritual creatures that are sent here to teach us many things. Things like how to deal with death, life birth, responsibility, love. Your pet came to you and taught you many lessons in his short life. Why was he here, I don’t know for sure, you will be able to answer that question someday.

Right now you need to let go of the guilt you are feeling and look at the spiritual side of his time here. Look back at what happened as a lesson in your life that you grew from and he was here to take you through that lesson.

You two will met up again, I really believe you will. He won’t bite when you met again either;) Most likely you will get big wet doggie kisses.

Answer #3

You are not mean as the above poster said and you did what was right in your heart. It was not an easy decison, especially for someone so young. There are many things that hurt and the things that involve loving and losing hurt the most. There is no easy answer for you to get over this hurt, time will close the wound and the lessons it carries will make you a stronger person in the end.

Take care

Answer #4

I know how you feel I had to put my dog to sleep 3 years ago. its really hard. im only 13 but he was my best friend. you did the right thing the jerk that said you were mean is wrong. it will get easier. im just getting over it. but I still cry over him. so it going to take time but you will get through it. stop blameing yourself it make you fell worse. im sorry for your loss.

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