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How can I tell my parents?

I want to tell my parents that I am gay. How would I tel them? I tried to give them hints on how I am. So far only a few people in my family know and were shocked to hear but they were ok with it in the end and support me 100% but the time has come that I want to tell my mom and dad. And im scared that when I do tell them they wont want to have anything to do with me…people joke around with me being gay infront of my parents all the time and when they do my dad kinda gives me this look and ask me later if I am when im not around anyone and I tend to freeze up. I want to tell them really bad. Its like im screaming my lungs out but im scared to be heard…my parents dont like gay people and every time they see one they tell me that there not human…and it sucks hearing that…how should I tell them to make it easy on me and them…?

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Answer #1

There is a difference between your parents hating other people and hating you. If your parents truly love you, they will accept and support you regardless if you are gay. If you are feeling tremendously anxious, try reaching out to the parent you are more comfortable with first. Then the three of you can sit down together to discuss, that should alleviate the pressure.

I will say this though, based on what you are expressing here, you parents may not be willing or able to deal with the fact that their child is gay. Many gay teenagers get kicked out of their homes, or are forced to runaway due to hostile conditions at home. Only you can truly gauge your parents comfort level. If you feel like you would be in danger (losing your home, bodily harm, etc.) I would advise letting them know after you have moved out due to college or employment. This way there won’t be any danger to yourself in coming out.

That being said, it sounds as though you are on that important precipice where you feel you must come out or you’ll explode (at least that is what I’m getting from what you wrote). It is extremely empowering to come out, to let people know who you are, and not have to hide your true self. For most (myself included), there is no compromising this act, and only once you come out, and be honest with yourself and everyone else, do you really feel settled in your own skin. But timing is everything. Your timing is ready, but your parents may not be. If you parents aren’t ready to hear what you have to say (in your estimation) try warming them up with current events. Bring up gay issues in your home, and side with the gay side from a values standpoint. See if you can change their mind about gay men and women without the pressure of their child being gay first. It could also open windows for discussing yourself eventually.

Answer #2

well I already told my dad(: and hes ok with it. I feel so much better its like 100 pounds were taken off of me. but now I have to tell my mom and the rest of my family. but my dad said he would be there with me.

Answer #3

Sooner or later the truth is going to come out, and its best they hear it from you. Its a scary thing- no doubt, but they love you and they’d rather you tell them than live in torment under this. Its the things we keep in the dark (hidden and to ourselves), that have power over us. The only thing that will set you free and give you peace is shedding some light on it and telling them. Sure they’ll be disappointed and may say some things, but know that when it comes down to it, your their kid and they love you with all their soul. Its going to a tough lifestye and you will be judged for it, but hold your head high, its your choice and you’ve accepted it. You’re parents may even seem judgemental at first, but give it time because they’re only looking out for you. Let them know you love them and you understand that it will be hard, but this is who you are and that you hope they’ll come to see that. Then give them a hug, this will show that you’re still the same person you were before they knew you were gay. Don’t be too afraid, the hardest part is gaining the courage to do it, after that is freedom.

Answer #4

in all honesty, if they feel that way about gay people, then there’s no way to say it that would be any easier. I’m sorry. but, the best thing to do would be to just tell them. it won’t be easy, and they’ll take it how they will, no matter how you phrase it, or how you let them know.

Answer #5

I think that you should just be really frank about it and just come out. And by what you said, it may take them a while to get used to the idea…Good Luck and I hope I helped. :)

Answer #6

I really need to know how old you are. It’s great and everything to think that parents have unconditional love for their kids and must accept them and whatever. Reality is a whole other issue. Homelessness among GLBT kids is high, as is suicide and all sorts of disorders because their parents dont accept them. Some parents even try to send their kids to reorientation camps. So again, it depends on how old you are and how dependent you are on them.

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