How bad is it that I can not stand my fiancee's 10 year old?

That’s a typical 10 year old that wants her mother, and not some random woman with her father. Granted, I know you aren’t some random woman. But, the girl comes with her father, you can’t have one without the other. If it’s too much to stand, then I suggest talking to your fiancee and if you can’t think of anything together, maybe ending it?

I disagree with royalty23 you shudnt hit her,I don’t think that’s right tew hit kids.especially because she’s not your biological daughter soo I just don’t think you shudd dew that but I dew think you shudd tlk tew your fiancé bout her behavior..

You can try the ‘take it or leave it’ attitude. If she doesn’t want a coke, she’ll have to deal with it because you already got it for her and it cannot go to waste. If she whinges and cries about things, put her in a corner or remove certain privileges from her like dessert or TV. Tell her if she wants to act like a baby, she will be treated like a baby. Kids hate being called babies :D

Most importantly, get your fiancee in on this to enforce such discipline, or it’ll all be a one-sided battle for you.

Put yourself in her shoes. she has gotten the attention for being the oldest woman around her father. Now that yor fiance has all your attention instead of hers she just wants that attention back. Put yourself in her shoes and try to understand her more. I understand your side, but make sure she knows that your not taking her daddy away from her because thats what she might think. Her attitude to whats going on is terrible but you should understand why she is doing that and how she is feeling. Try helping her through it which will help you through her.

I think that maybe you should try this;

“What do you want for dinner? Can you help me make it?” “What sort of trip would you like to go on?” then “Okay, but you have to help me plan it, and pack for it.”

That is how a lady who I know that has 6 adopted children handles them.

If they absolutely rebel after trying that for a while she uses the “Take it or leave it, but dont complain to me” technique.

lol . This is when you should discipline her giv her the back hand and let her know what she got it for. FOR BEING A SOOK.. or anything else she does that get you on your last nerve. my neice huz 11 even worse pisses me off and I just get enough from her so I don’t care and giv her a hiding and tell her to stop and start acting more like an 11 yr old.. But I aint sayin giv her hiding just a smack on the bottom and just tell her please stop being fussy and get what shes given or else shell get a hiding newayz just do it shell still love yooh..hope all goes well or just tell your fiance to look after her otherwise youll just have to giv her the back hand

I had the same problem with my husbands boys. They hated me because their mother didn’t like me. They felt like they were betraying their mother. 7 years later we finally all get along. Mysterwolf had some really great advice for you. If she wants to act like a baby then treat her like one. Eventually when she realizes that she’s going to be disciplined for acting that way she will stop. How long have her parents been divorced? Because she might still be hoping that if she’s an annoying brat you might leave her dad, letting the door open for her mom.

Just make sure whatever you do that your fiance is also doing it and he agrees with you. A united front will help.