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I am about to be 15 years old and I want to move out... I know I'm very young and no I'm not physically abused... I think? I get hit every week but not to the point of any real injury and only when they think I've done something bad but it can get pretty hard... Point is I'm pretty sure my parents are physcos and although you might think its just a teenager thing, its not. I have 3 older sisters.. One of them lives with me she is 16 and she agrees. my parents are way hard on us. Too hard. I feel they are going to drive us mentally insane. Me and my sis get straight A's we take all honors and AP classes we have really good manners (since my parents have yelled at us whenever we do the slightest thing wrong) and everyone says we are so sweet yet my parents must think we are these horrible kids! They yell at us all the time my mom complains about everything its like she's taking it out on us. Telling me and my sister just how much of a burden we are to her and how much she has to work and do for us and how we never do enough. My dads the worst though he has the worst temper you can imagine. Whatever you think is bad just multply it by 3. He critizises everthngg we do he is alwaysss verbally Insulting us saying that we are so stupid and bad and manipulative and horrible everyytime we do something "wrong". Which can be getting a bad grade to not cleaning something but he over does EVerythingg itsinpressive I don't even know how to describe it. He yells, hits, insults and it really hurts it makes me feel like imnot worth anything and really stupid stupid and he's so smart and has to always be right and he cab be screaming in my face saying that I'm mediocre(whatever that means) that I'm stupid and I have to bite my toungue or he' smack me .because he can. Becaus he's my father and I can't do crap. we don't go out much just Fridays and Saturdays which I consider normal somtines we oy go out Friday but he insists that we should only go out once a week because every other day we have to be focused at school or its family day. like oncei got invited to a party but we had to pay to get in but I was like whatever I didnt think it was weird. He didnt want to let me go but my mom convinced him and when I got there people were drinking so I called my dad and told him to pick me up please cause I didnt like it. I don't know I was expecting him to be proud of me or something instead he starts screaming at me in the car that I manipulated my mom to let me go that I'm so stupid that I'm not going out unless it is at a girls house that he knows and I'm like whattt? Start crying and he says he doesn't. Believe my tears that they are crocodile tears?? I don't even know what that means! But ok that was 2 weeks ago! so today I got my results from my Spanish AP test (advanced placement) to see if I got intothat class (they are college classes) and I did!! I was so happy cause it was hard and my other friends didnt pass but I did!! So I'm all ready to celebrate andtell them (its also the beggining of my spring break) so we went to a restaurant and I tell them about the class and suddenly my dad starts telling me that there's no way that I'm going to an out of Florida university (beause want to go to MIT or another good technology school) and that I am goingto live with them wether I like it ornot that I'm not allowed to leave and split this "family" apart that I need Roget that though out of my head because its their money and they are going to send me to whatever school they want that I have no say in it and I might as well start to cry now. And I did. He knew I would cause that's me I'm a cry baby and I can't help it and I Hate it and I just felt like what am I working mybutt off for then? Why am I studying so hard if I don't even get to choose where I want to go? And I'm embarrased cause we were in the middle of a restaurant and I'm there crying and then my mom says I'm grounded Friday for not cleaing the kitchenand dad says I'm grounded Saturday for crying and I look riculous. I probably did buy I don't know it just made me wonder if that's alright ? Is it ok for me and my sister to live in this hell? I feel better. At school or anywhere else than home. Its depressing to me. All of it.. But I don't want to fall into that again. When we first came to the US my parents fought a lot (they still do but its slightly better) an they didnt pay attention to us and I don't know everything just kindof sucked. And I got pulledinto all the sadness. I became very depressed and for just a few pounds, I was almost anorexic. For about a year and a half tnT went on I went to phyciatrists and all that jazz but then I decided it wasn't worth it.. I just don't get it though why is my family so messed up? Why can't they understand and why cant we ever have a moment of happiness? When we do have a good moment I worry cause I know it'll end soon. I think we all need a phyciatrist but my parents want to pretend we are all fine. We are not. They are crazy I'm sureof it but they don't abuse me so I can't even make a legal case out of this. The worst thing is that if you'd meet them you'd probably think they are good people because they are like that. They have two sides and I done know what to do because they are good sometimesand I love the people they are when they are good but their bad sides are really getting to me and their good doesn't make up for their bad. I cried so much today I couldn't breathe at a point and I know I'm not ok. I can't be. I have headaches. And I know what you think : why don't you talk to them? I have!!!we hAve had many talks but they never work we always scream and fight and my dad doesn't understand human beings he always tries to solve things with charts and tables and in a way I sortof feel ba for him because he will never. Know why I do what I do or what I feel. And I will never know why he doesn't trust me ( even though he says he doeshe clearly doesn't) and I just will neverrr know what a perfect daughter is to him. Cause I know I can't be it. It just angers me that I know (no offense) me and my sister are so much more nice, mannered, good at school, and calm than 90% of girls yet we get this horrible treatment.. Ughh the only thing I can think of Is moving out.soon. If possible I just want out. If not then I swear I'll move or run or go crazy. God!!! You guys probably think I'm childish and spoiled and acting stupid but its so much more. I hope that atleast one of you guys can tell me SOMETHING to help me. Maybe cheer me up. And excuse all my spelling errors.. I'm in a real rush. Just post something please!! I'm not quite sure if this is a question or just a need to get this off my chest but thanks for reading!
I really hope things get better for you soon. I can understand what it feels like from the perspective of the daughter myself. My sister and I had the same issue. I think your first priority should be what is best for both of you as well as respecting your parents. If they hit you once a week, it's once a week too much. I don't like spanking after children are out of diapers at all, and when they're still young, only for emergencys when you just have to get their attention.
You and your sister should go to a school guidance counselor together and explain the situation. Tell them exactly what is happening. This will end up in the involvement of Child Protective Services, who will either put your parents into counseling and parenting classes, or they will remove you from their custody. If it isn't completly serious I would not suggest this, but I can tell from what you say it is.
If the first step doesn't work and you are worried about what to do next, talk to a favorite teacher or a parent of one of your friends, someone you know and trust and they will be able to give you more advise.
If you have no luck with that, you can always call your local human services directly
talk to somebody, anybody who can help you. you and your sister have put up woth a lot have you both concidered going and finding help together. not just you by yourself it would be some sort of support. talk to each other about things. the things that he says obviously are out of order. but just blank them out everything he says just blank your mind think happy thoughts I know it sounds daft but it works. write things down in a journal things that you hate about them things youd like to do to them write anything down you dont have to show it to anybody so anything and everything can go donw in there.
but seriously you must get help for both you your sister, and if your parents are willing for them as well. just try not to bottle it all up share your thoughts and feeling with your sister have a good little cry. why not. anything is better than deeling with this. but you must seek help. speak to sombody. Please, the problem is not just going to go away over night.
well good luck anyway. Best wishes. xXx
I agree with jonnynitro, I read this whole thing and your parents are abusing you emotionally. I don't even know 15 year olds who are still getting hit by their parents. im not sure moving out is the answer, then you'll have to deal with calling them, and going there during holiday's and having them yell at you for not calling them or keeping in contact. im 14 and I really want to help girls and boys just like you, with all problems, you need to tell someone you can trust and tell them to help you, let them know what is going on in your life. I havn't quite gone through this same thing, but a lot of my friends have and this is kinda how I know how to handle it, but if your parents leave one little mark on you, you can do somthing about it, and it says up there that you can't do anything about it, you can do something about everything.
I hope you read this and I hope I helped you out some.
I agree with jonnynitro, I read this whole thing and your parents are abusing you emotionally. I don't even know 15 year olds who are still getting hit by their parents. im not sure moving out is the answer, then you'll have to deal with calling them, and going there during holiday's and having them yell at you for not calling them or keeping in contact. im 14 and I really want to help girls and boys just like you, with all problems, you need to tell someone you can trust and tell them to help you, let them know what is going on in your life. I havn't quite gone through this same thing, but a lot of my friends have and this is kinda how I know how to handle it, but if your parents leave one little mark on you, you can do somthing about it, and it says up there that you can't do anything about it, you can do something about everything.
I hope you read this and I hope I helped you out some.
I'm sorry you are dealing with all this-it sounds terrible. Your parents ARE abusing you btw-physically, verbally and emotionally You are right-your family needs counseling, but it doesn't sound like your parents will go. YOU need to take care of yourself. Go to your high school counselor and tell them what's going on at home. If your dad hits you again and there's a mark on your body-take a picture of it and show it to your counselor as proof. There are people who can help you but you have to let someone know what's going on. Do it tomorrow. good luck.
My friends are in a very similar position to you and your sister. Right now I'm looking for legal ways to get them out of their house. My advice to you is tell someone and gather evidence of the abuse, like keep a log book of the mean things they say to you, where they said it, when. Stuff like that. Take pictures of bruises. I hope it gets better for you. You sound like a good person who doesn't deserve this.
oh my gosh. you need to talk to someone you trust, like your school counselor, immediatly. they are abusing you verbally, and if they hit you, physically. your parents are way messed up, and you need help.
