How can I talk to my boyfriend about my history?

Right.. well i am sorry to hear the way you have grown up, i have had similar situations and worst, but never lost my parents. You are going through so much pain because it is all bottled up, i used to be like you but i am with a person who loves me for who i am now. And i told him everything thats happened to me, i didnt go into detail though. Its graphic enough.

You are with a boyfriend but still bottled up, and i expect that just kills you. Tell your boyfriend one evening when your sat down together in the quiet, tell him you have something important to tell you and its taking all your courage to do so. He will either be worried or curious if he loves you.

Next step is to take a deep breath and tell him what happened from the start, or show him this page you have sent on the web. Let him read it. Don’t spill it out all in one. It will get too confusing. Your allowed to cry, there is nothing wrong with that, and maybe suggest to him that you are thinking of counselling or rapetrauma services. He might offer to go with you. Thing is, you want a new start with him and probably a nice long future. If you don’t tell him, its gonna be on your conscience forever. You have to leak out every so often but to someone you can trust. If he loves you, he will try to understand although he may never will because he is a bloke. And he will be there for you. If he walks away… you know how much he was worth..